Hello, my dear listeners, and welcome back to the Kapil Gupta Career Pod Show. And this is the fourth episode of With You Conversations. And I'm grateful for giving me the success by reaching out on www.withyou.space. And I'm full of gratitude that I'm able to create a meaningful contribution to your life. For new listeners, please check out www.withyou.space. We are with you as someone who listens. Sometimes you're not looking for advice or answers. You just want to talk freely and feel a little lighter afterward. Vidyu connects you to a real person who listens without judgment. And today I want to begin with a scene that may feel strangely familiar. A student comes home after a difficult day. Maybe an exam did not go well. Or maybe a friend said something hurtful, and maybe career confusion is eating away at them. And maybe they simply feel tired without knowing why. And they begin telling someone at home, I don't know, or lately I'm feeling. And before the sentence is complete, the advice arrives. Oh, you should focus on your studies. Or stop overthinking, or everyone goes through this, or just be positive. Conversation over. The advice may even be correct, but somehow the student feels worse. And why? Because sometimes we are not looking for an answer. We are looking for someone who will stay long enough to hear the question. And that is why today's episode is about why we need to feel hurt. Hi, I'm Kapal Gupta, career coach, life mentor, graphotherapist, and founder of Study Abroad Academy and Vidyo.space. For over two decades, I've been helping students, parents, and young professionals gain clarity, confidence, and direction in life and career through deep coaching, mindset transformation, and the powerful practice of graphotherapy. Because success is not just about choosing the right course or building the right career. It's about becoming the right person, nurturing meaningful relationships, and creating a life that feels peaceful, purposeful, and truly your own. And that's what this podcast is all about. And today in our with you conversation series, we are going beyond careers and achievements. Because sometimes what we need most is not advice, but understanding, not solutions, but someone who listens. So let's slow down, have a meaningful conversation, and remind ourselves that no one should have to carry everything alone. So think about the last time somebody really listened to you. Not listen while checking their phone. Not listen while waiting for their turn to speak, and not listened only to prepare a solution. I mean somebody who looked at you and made you feel take your time, I am here. Now, how did that feel? Probably lighter. Because there is something deeply human about being hurt. We all want to feel that what is happening inside us matters to somebody outside us. So let me introduce you to a young man named Kabir. Now, Kabir was in the final year of college. Everyone around him thought he was doing well. Good marks, good friends, decent college, parents proud. But Kabir had one problem. He did not want the career he had been preparing for. For almost two years, he had been quietly thinking about entering a creative field. But whenever he tried to discuss it at home, the conversation immediately became practical. Scope kya hai, salary kitni hai, why waste your degree? What will relatives say? All reasonable questions. But nobody first asked Kabir, what is making you feel this way? So he stopped talking. And when people stopped talking, we often assume the problem has disappeared. It has not. It has simply gone underground. So one evening, Kabir met an old teacher. The teacher did something unusual. He did not give advice. He asked, Tell me what has been going on. Kabir spoke for almost 20 minutes. The teacher barely interrupted. And at the end, Kabir said something powerful. Sir, I think I already knew what I wanted. I just needed to hear myself say it. And that is the power of being heard. Sometimes another person does not give us clarity. They create enough silence for our own clarity to appear. And this is especially important for young people today. Students are surrounded by communication, WhatsApp groups, Instagram, Discord, LinkedIn, college groups, family groups, reels, comments, notifications. And we have probably never had more ways to talk. But having more places to speak does not automatically mean having more places where we feel heard. You can receive 50 birthday messages and still feel lonely. You can have hundreds of followers and still feel lonely that nobody really knows what you are going through. Being connected is not the same as being understood. That difference matters. And now here is something we often get wrong. Listening is not the same as solving. Suppose your friend says, I'm scared about my future. You immediately reply, Oh, do an MBA. Problem solved. No, maybe the person did not ask for an MBA. Maybe they were trying to say, I'm afraid I'm disappointing everyone. Sometimes we answer the sentence and miss the emotion. And that is why good listening begins with curiosity. So instead of saying you should do this, try asking what is worrying you the most. Instead of saying don't think like that, try saying tell me more. Those three words can be surprisingly powerful. Tell me more. They say your story is not inconvenient to me. And here comes another important truth. Feeling hurt does not mean the other person must agree with us. Your parents can listen to you and still disagree with your career choice. Your friend can understand your feelings and still tell you that you made a mistake. Real listening does not mean blind approval, it means understanding first and responding second. That order changes relationships. Understand first, respond second. Unfortunately, most of us do the opposite. We begin replying somewhere around sentence number three, sometime before sentence number one has properly landed. And yes, I know why. Silence makes us uncomfortable. If somebody cries, we immediately want to stop the crying. Don't cry. Why? Maybe crying exactly what they need for two minutes. We are often so desperate to make people feel better that we do not allow them to feel what they're actually feeling. A good listener does not always remove the emotion. Sometimes they simply sit beside it. That is very different kind of support. And students need this desperately. A student may not always need another motivational speech. Sometimes they need to say, I'm scared, I feel lonely, I don't know what career I want. I think I chose the wrong course. Or I'm tired of everyone comparing me and hear someone say, I understand. Let us talk about it. Not every problem can be solved immediately, but many problems become easier to carry when they are no longer carried secretly. So now let us reverse the conversation. Are you making people feel hurt? When your friend speaks, where is your phone? When a child speaks, are you hearing their words or preparing your lecture? When somebody shares a problem, do you immediately compare? They say, I am tired. And you say, You think you are tired? When I was of your age, congratulations, you've successfully converted their problem into your autobiography. Sometimes the greatest gift you can give another person costs nothing. 10 minutes. Full attention, no judgment, no phone, no hurry, just presence. And this brings me to your challenge for today. Choose one person you care about and ask them one simple question: How are you really? And when they answer, do not interrupt, do not fix, do not compare, do not check your phone, just listen. And then ask, do you want advice or do you just want me to listen? That one question can change the quality of your relationships. And I want you to do something else too. Find one person in your own life with whom you can be honest because you deserve to feel heard as well. You do not have to carry every courier fear, family pressure, rejection, loneliness, or confusion silently. Strength is not pretending that nothing affects you. Sometimes strength is saying, I need to talk. So let me leave you with this thought. We live in a world that is becoming very good at broadcasting. Everyone has something to say, everyone has an opinion, everyone has advice. Maybe what we need now is not another louder voice. Maybe we need better listeners. Because when people feel heard, they often become calmer. So when they become calmer, they can think more clearly. And when they can think clearly, they can begin finding their own way forward. So the next time someone comes to you carrying a heavy heart, remember you do not always need the right words. Sometimes you simply need to create the right space. And if you are the person carrying something today, please speak. Find someone safe, a friend, a parent, a mentor, a counselor, someone who can listen without turning your story into a judgment. Because sometimes you do not need another answer, you just need someone who listens. So this is Kapil Gupta, and you're listening to the Kapil Gupta Career Pod Show. Speak honestly, listen deeply, and remember, being heard may not change the whole world around you. But sometimes it changes the whole world inside you.