Namaste everyone and welcome back to the Kapil Gupta Career Pod Show, the podcast that helps young Indians like you build killer careers without losing your sanity. And I'm your host, Kapil, and today we are going to talk about something that makes most of us want to disappear into thin air faster than free briani at a college fest. Imagine this scene. You are at a college placement interview. You just nailed a tough coding question or gave a brilliant presentation. The HR manager looks at you with genuine admiration and says, Wow, that was really impressive. You have exceptional problem solving skills. And what do you do? Do you smile confidently and say thank you? Nayar, instead, you probably do what 99% of us Indians do. You start fidgeting with your dupatta or shirt collar, look everywhere except at their face, and mumble something like, Oh no no no, it was nothing special, I just got lucky. My friend Rohit is much better at this than me. Sounds familiar? Now if you're nodding right now, don't worry. You're not alone in this struggle. From the engineering student in Bengaluru who deflects praise about her coding skills to the MBA aspirant in Mumbai who can't accept compliments about his presentation abilities. This awkwardness with compliments is like that uninvited relative who shows up at every family function. But here's the thing that'll blow your mind. This seemingly harmless habit of deflecting compliments isn't just about being modest. It's actually sabotaging your career growth in ways you never imagined. And today we are going to fix that once and for all. She's 22 years old, computer science graduate from Pune. Brilliant coder, 8.5 CGPA, internships are top companies, but there's one problem. Every time someone compliments her work, she literally wants to dig a hole in the ground and hide. Last month, during her final year project presentation, her professor said, Priya, your machine learning model is outstanding. This could be published in a research journal. And what did Priya do? She turned red like a tomato, started stammering, and said, Sir, it's really not that good. I just copy-pasted most of it from GitHub. Anyone could have done it. The professor was confused. Her classmates were shocked. And Priya, she spent the next week wondering why she always does this to herself. And now, before you start judging Priya, let me ask you something. How many times have you done exactly the same thing? When your boss appreciated your work, when your parents praised your achievements, and when friends admired your skills, how often have you immediately downplayed it? And if you're thinking literally every single time, then welcome to the club, my friend. The I can't handle compliments without dying inside club. We have millions of members across India, and surprisingly, most of them are incredibly talented people. But here's what's crazy: this habit that we think makes us look humble and modest. It's actually making us look insecure and incompetent. And in today's competitive job market, that's career suicide. Alright, so why do we do this to ourselves? Why do compliments make us more uncomfortable than wearing a sweater in Chennai Sama? Now the answer lies in something psychologists call the cognitive dissonance. Big words I know, but stick with me, it's actually quite simple. Now cognitive dissonance happens when there's a clash between what we believe about ourselves and what others tell us. It's like having two songs playing in your head at the same time, completely out of sync and super annoying. So let's break this down with an example. You believe you're average at presentations, now that's your self-image. Then your team lead says your presentation skills are exceptional, and that's external validation, and now your brain is confused. It's like when your mom says you are the most handsome guy in the world, but dating apps suggest otherwise. So your brain has two options now. Option one, update your self-image and accept that maybe you are good at presentation. And option two, reject the compliment and stick to your original belief. Now guess which one most of us choose? Yep, option two, because changing your self-image feels scary and uncertain. It's like deleting your old Facebook photos, technically the right thing to do, but emotionally traumatic. Now, this is why when someone compliments your coding skills, your brain immediately starts generating excuses. Oh, they are just being nice, they haven't seen really good code. I got lucky this time, or my personal favorite, they must want something from me. But here's the kicker. This isn't just psychological mumbo jumbo. This has real career consequences. When you consistently reject compliments, you're training your brain to focus on weaknesses instead of your strengths. And you're literally programming yourself for mediocrity. And in a world where personal branding and confidence can make or break career opportunities, this programming is like showing up to a Zoom interview with your camera off and mic muted. Now let's talk about three villains in our story. And I call them the career confidence killers. Self-esteem issues, imposter syndrome, and that annoying inner critic who never shuts up. So first up, low self-esteem. Now this is like having a phone with 5% battery all the time. You know you need to change it, but somehow you never get around to it. Low self-esteem makes you believe that you don't deserve praise. And it's that voice that says there must be some mistake. They meant to compliment someone else. And I remember talking to Arjun, a software developer from Hyderabad, brilliant guy, created three successful apps, one coding competitions. But when his startup founder called him a technical genius in front of investors, Arjun's response was, Sir, you are exaggerating. I just know how to Google solutions better than others. And then comes our second villain, imposter syndrome. Now, this is the feeling that you're basically a fraud who's about to be exposed any minute now. It's like being in a costume party where everyone looks amazing and you're convinced you're the only one wearing a fake outfit from a roadside vendor. Now, imposter syndrome makes you think that any success you have is just luck or timing, never your actual skills or hard work. So when someone compliments your achievements, your brain goes, Oh no, they're about to find out, I have no idea what I'm doing. And this is especially common among Indian students and young professionals because we are constantly comparing ourselves to others. So in a country of 1.4 billion people, there's always someone who seems smarter, more talented, or more successful. And finally, we have the inner critic. That annoying voice in your head that sounds like a combination of your most critical teacher and your most pessimistic relative. And this voice has a PhD in finding fault with everything you do. So when someone says, Great job on that project, the inner critic immediately responds, Yeah, right, you barely finished in time, made three spelling mistakes, and your presentation slides look like they were designed by a five-year-old. The tragic part, this inner critic is often louder than any external praise you receive. It's like having a heavy metal concert in your head while trying to listen to a beautiful song on the radio. But here's what you need to understand these three villains are not permanent residents in your brain. They are more like annoying house guests who overstey their welcome. And just like house guests, they can be shown the door. And now let's talk about something that hits close to home for all of us. How Indian culture has accidentally trained us to be complementary, repelling ninjas. Don't get me wrong, I love our culture. Our values of humility, respect, and putting others first are beautiful. But somewhere along the way, we got a bit confused between being humble and being self-destructive. Think about your childhood. What happened when your neighbor aunt complimented your academic performance? Your parents probably said something like, Aray, what are you saying, Aunt? He's just average. Your son is much better. Or remember when relatives praised our achievements? The standard response was always to deflect, oh, it's nothing special, I just got lucky. Or so-and-so's child did much better. Now this wasn't malicious, of course. Our parents thought they were protecting us from becoming arrogant or overconfident. In their minds, accepting compliments meant developing an ego, and ego was the enemy of success. But you know what actually happened? We learn that the correct response to praise is immediate deflection. We internalize the message that acknowledging our strengths make us bad people and it gets worse for different groups. If you're a woman, you were probably taught that being moderate and self-effacing is more attractive than being confident. Good girls don't show off, they said. Let your work speak for itself. And if you are from a middle class family, you learn that talking about achievements make you look like you're showing off or getting too big for your boots. Success was supposed to be quiet and invisible. The result? We became a generation of incredibly talented individuals who are expert at making themselves look incompetent. It's like buying a Ferrari and then covering it with mud so nobody notices how nice it is. But here's the reality check we all need. The world has changed. Today's career landscape rewards people who can articulate their value, own their achievements, and confidently present themselves. So when you are in a job interview and the interviewer says, Tell me about your greatest achievement, deflecting or downplaying it isn't humble. It's a career suicide. So when you're networking and someone compliments your skills, not acknowledging them isn't modest, it's missed opportunity. So the competition isn't just local anymore. You are competing with people from around the world who have no problem saying, thank you. I worked really hard on that, when they receive praise. It's time to unlearn some of our conditioning, not to become arrogant or boastful, but to find that sweet spot between false humility and healthy confidence. So, alright, now enough of the diagnosis. Now, time for some medicine. So now let's understand that these are issues related to our mind, and we can deal with them both subconsciously and consciously and listen to it very, very carefully. So now, first let me share the subconscious strategy. You all know that I'm a master practitioner of graphology too, and graphology is a science that empowers the mind. So work with me and I can clear you out of these challenges in no time. And secondly, the conscious strategy. So I'm going to give you five practical strategies that will transform you from a compliment dodging ninja into a graceful praise receiver. And trust me, these aren't just feel-good tips, these are career-changing skills. Strategy one, the magic two words. The simplest and most powerful response to any compliment is just two words, thank you. And that's it. No buts, no disclaimers, no deflections, just thank you. And I know it sounds stupidly simple, but most of us have never tried it. When someone says, Great presentation, so instead of saying, Oh, it was nothing, try saying thank you. So when your boss appreciates your work instead of I just got lucky, say thank you. Practice this in the mirror. Seriously, I'm not kidding. Stand in front of your bathroom mirror and practice saying thank you with a smile and do it until it feels natural, not forced. Then strategy two, the compliment journal. Now here's something that will blow your mind. Start keeping a compliment journal. Every time someone gives you a compliment, write it down. Date it. Write who said it and what they said exactly. Do this for one month, and you'll be shocked at how many compliments you actually receive but immediately forget. We have selective memory when it comes to praise, and we remember every criticism for years, but forget compliments in seconds. And your compliment journal will serve as evidence against your inner critic. When that voice says, nobody appreciates your work, you can flip through your journal and see actual proof that people do value your contributions. And strategy number three, the redirect and build technique. And if saying just thank you feels too overwhelming initially, try this intermediate step. Accept the compliment first, then redirect to acknowledge others who helped you, but don't diminish your own contribution. Instead of it was nothing, everyone could have done it. Try saying thank you. I really appreciate that. And I also couldn't have done it without the support from my team. And this way, you're accepting the praise while still showing humility and gratitude to others. The strategy number four, the internal reframe. Now, this one's about changing your internal dialogue. When someone compliments you, instead of thinking they're just being nice, reframe it as they took time out of the day to acknowledge my work. Now that means something. So instead of they haven't seen really good work, think they have experience in this field and their opinion has value. So instead of I don't deserve this, think I worked hard for this. And it's okay to be recognized. So strategy number five, the skill building challenge. So here's a fun exercise that will build your compliment receiving muscles. For the next week, I want you to actively seek out one compliment each day, not by fishing for praise, but by putting yourself in situations where your work or skills might be recognized. So volunteer to present in the meeting, share a helpful tip in your college group, offer to help a colleague with the project, and when you do good work consistently, compliments will naturally follow. The goal isn't to become a praise-seeking machine, but to get comfortable with the feeling of being acknowledged. Think of it as exposure therapy for your compliment phobia. And now the advance move that is complimenting others. So this is the secret sauce. Start genuinely complimenting others. So when you appreciate someone's work, tell them. When you notice someone's skills, acknowledge them. This does two things. First, it makes you more comfortable with the whole concept of giving and receiving praise. And second, it creates a positive feedback loop where people are more likely to appreciate your work too. But remember, make sure your compliments are genuine and specific. So instead of good job, say I really liked how you structured that presentation. The flow was very logical and easy to follow. So working together both subconsciously and consciously on your mind will do the trick and the results are just amazing. So the link to connect with me is given in the description. So here we are, at the end of our journey from compliment dodging to graceful praise receiving. But before I let you go, I want you to understand something really, really important. This isn't just about learning to say thank you to compliments. This is about fundamentally changing how you see yourself and your worth. When you learn to accept praise gracefully, you're not just improving your social skills, you're training your brain to recognize your strengths, acknowledge your growth, and believe in your potential. So every time you deflect a compliment, you're sending a message to your subconscious that you're not worthy of recognition. But every time you accept praise with grace, you are reinforcing the belief that you have value, that your efforts matter, that you deserve success. And in today's world, where personal branding, networking, and self-advocacy are crucial for career success, this shift in mindset isn't just helpful. It's absolutely essential. Think about Priya, the computer science student I mentioned in the beginning. What if instead of deflecting her professor's praise, she had said, Thank you, Professor, I'm really proud of how this project turned out. And I would love to explore research opportunities further. Now that one moment of graceful acceptance could have opened doors to research publication, PhD opportunities, or connections with industry professionals. So instead, her deflection left everyone confused and might have made a professor think twice before offering opportunities in the future. Now your ability to receive compliments gracefully isn't vanity, it's visibility. It's not about having a big ego, it's about having accurate self-awareness. It's not about being arrogant, it's about being authentic. So the most successful people I know aren't necessarily the most talented. They are the ones who can recognize their own value, articulate their strength, and receive recognition without crumbling under the weight of their own insecurities. So, alright, my dear listeners, it's time for your mission. Should you choose to accept it, and trust me, accepting this mission could literally change the trajectory of your career. So here's what I want you to do. Starting right now, the 30 day compliment challenge. For the next 30 days, I want you to commit to accepting every single compliment you receive with just two words. Thank you. No reflections, no disclaimers, no but actually statements, just thank you. But that's it all. I want you to take it one step. Further. Week one, focus on accepting compliments from friends and family. Practice with people who make you feel safe. In week two, extend this to college or workplace compliments. This is where it gets challenging. But also where it matters most for your career. In week three, start giving genuine specific compliments to other. Watch how it changes the energy around you. Week four, combine everything, accept praise gracefully and start advocating for yourself in small ways. Mention your achievements and conversations, share your wins with friends, apply for opportunities you previously thought were too good for you. But here's the kicker. I want you to document this journey. Take screenshots of compliments you receive online. Write down verbal compliments in your phone. And most importantly, notice how you feel when you accept praise instead of deflecting it. So after 30 days, I guarantee you you'll feel like a different person. You'll walk into interviews with more confidence, network with more ease, and present your work with genuine pride instead of apologetic hesitation. And here's my promise to you if you do this challenge sincerely for 30 days and don't see a positive change in how you feel about yourself and how others perceive you, I'll personally review your LinkedIn profile and give you feedback on how to better showcase your strengths. So remember, every expert was once a beginner, every successful person was once someone who doubted themselves. The only difference between where you are now and where you want to be is your willingness to see yourself the way others already see you, as someone with unique talents, valuable contributions, and unlimited potential. Your future self, the one who's confident, successful, and fulfilled, is waiting for you to start accepting the praise you've always deserved. So, what do you say? Are you ready to stop hiding under rocks and start shining like the star you already are? The next time someone compliments you, remember this podcast. Take a deep breath, smile genuinely, and say those magic words. Thank you. Your career will thank you for it. Now, this has been Kappel Gupta, and this has been the Kapal Gupta Career Pod Show. So until next time, keep growing, keep growing, and most importantly, keep accepting the awesome person you are. So don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review this podcast. Share it with a friend who desperately needs to hear this message. And if this episode helped you, send me a message on social media. I promise I'll say thank you instead of dipling. So ja in and see you next week.