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Hello everyone and welcome back to the Kapil Gupta Career Part Show. And I'm your host, Kapil. And today I want to talk about something that keeps so many of us awake at night. Something that makes us scroll through Instagram at 2 a.m. wondering why everyone else seems to have their life figured out while we're still trying to find the TV remote. You know what? I'm talking about? Right. That little voice in your head that whispers you're not good enough. When you see your classmate get that internship, that knot in your stomach, when you want to speak up in class, but your tongue feels like it's made of cement. That feeling when you stare at your reflection and think, when will I finally feel confident like those people on YouTube? Now here's the thing, my friends, and I want you to really listen to this. Confidence isn't something you order on Amazon with next-day delivery. It's not a gift that some lucky people get at birth while the rest of us are left wondering what went wrong in the cosmic lottery. I remember being 19, sitting in my hostel room, watching my roommate effortlessly chat with seniors while I practiced conversations in the bathroom mirror. I thought I was just born confident and I was, well, doomed to be awkward forever. And I was wrong. So wrong. Today we are going to break down the biggest myth about confidence. And I promise you, by the end of this episode, you'll understand why your journey matters more than your starting point. So grab your chai, find a comfortable spot, and let's dive into finding your confidence. It's a journey, not a gift you're born with. So, hello all. I'm in a mission to coach and mentor 100,000 high school students and help them realize the dream of studying in the best universities of the world and build happy and successful careers for themselves. So let's start with the elephant in the room. Raise your hand if you have ever felt worse about yourself after scrolling through Instagram. And don't worry, I can't see you, but I'm pretty sure most hands are up right now. Here's what happens, and trust me, I have been there. We open Instagram and boom, there's Priya from college posting about a new job at Google. Scroll down. Rahul is traveling to Goa with his perfect friend group. Scroll again. Someone your age just started their own company and they're calling themselves as a young entrepreneur. And what do we do? We sit there in our pajamas, eating Maggie for the third time this week and thinking, what's wrong with me? The truth, nothing is wrong with you. Everything's wrong with the comparison game. Social media shows highlight reels, not behind the scenes footage. That confident person posting motivational quotes, they probably had three mental breakdowns this week. And that successful entrepreneur, they might be surviving on two hours of sleep and instant noodles. But here's the real problem. When we constantly compare, we lose our own voice. We start trying to be someone else's virgin of confidence instead of finding our own. I once knew a girl named Anita who's brilliant at art but terrible at public speaking. So instead of embracing her artistic confidence, she spent two years trying to become a debate champion because that's what looked confident to her. Guess what happened? She lost her artistic spark and never became good at debates either. Now the moment she stopped comparing and started focusing on her art, magic happened. She began creating stunning designs, started an Instagram page for her work, and slowly, without even realizing it, began speaking confidently about what she loved. So, from why can't I be like them to what makes me me? So here's your homework for this week. Social media detoxes. Pick two days this week where you don't check social media until evening. And second, personal wins journal. Write down three things you did well each day, however small. And third, the voice check. When you catch yourself comparing, ask, what would I do if no one was watching? And remember, confidence isn't about being like everyone else. It's about being comfortable with being you. So okay, time for some real talk. How many of you have watched a confident speaker and thought, I wish I could just wake up tomorrow and be like that? I get it. We live in an instant noodles world. We want instant results, instant success, and instant confidence. But here's what nobody tells you. Confidence is more like learning to ride a bicycle than switching on a light bulb. Think about it. When you were learning to cycle, did you just sit on the bike and magically start riding? Of course not. You fell, got back up, wobbled, fell again, had your dad running behind you, and slowly, slowly you found your balance. So confidence works the same way. So when I started this podcast, my first episode was a disaster. I said 47 times. I have to, you know, I actually counted and I have to edit that. My voice was shaking. I forgot half my points, and I was convinced I should just take a career consultant like my parents wanted. But I didn't stop. Episode 2 was slightly better. By episode 10, I stopped counting my own. And by episode 50, people started telling me I sounded confident. And now I have 200 episodes that are being heard in over 70 countries, 400 cities with more than 5,000 downloads. The secret? I wasn't becoming confident. I was building confidence through practice. So, what is the practice principle? If you want, note it down. Repetition creates comfort. The more you do something, the less scary it becomes. Then mistakes become teachers. Each failure shows you what doesn't work, and then small improvements compound. Getting one person better daily creates massive changes over time. Remember, your first day of college, you probably sat in the back, never raised your hand, prayed the teacher wouldn't call on you. But by the end of the semester, you are probably asking questions, cracking jokes, and maybe even arguing with the professor. So what changed? You practiced being in that environment. You got comfortable with the uncomfortable. Yes, we see 20-year-old YouTubers who seem naturally confident on camera. But what we don't see are the 500 videos they deleted, the hours they spent practicing in front of mirrors, and the comment section anxiety they deal with. So let me share your practice plan. One, pick one small scary thing. Yes, speaking up once in a class, asking questions in a meeting, or posting your opinion on something. Then number two, do it once this week. Don't aim for perfection, aim for completion. Number three, reflect and repeat. What felt hard, what felt easier than expected. And number four, level up gradually. Next week, make it slightly more challenging. Confidence isn't a destination you arrive at, it's a muscle you build through consistent exercise. So let's talk about that nasty little monster that lives in our heads. Imposter syndrome. And before you think this is just for successful people, let me tell you something. This beast attacks everyone. Are you a first-year student? I don't deserve to be in this college. Got selected for an internship, they made a mistake choosing me. Or started your first job. Everyone here is smarter than me.

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(Cont.) Finding Your Confidence: It's a Journey, Not a Gift You're Born With

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Let me share the truth bomb. Imposter syndrome isn't a bug in your system, it is a feature. It means you are growing, challenging yourself, and stepping out of your comfort zone. The people who never feel like imposters, they're probably not pushing themselves hard enough. I once mentioned a brilliant engineering student named Rohan. Now this guy had a 9.2 CGPA, had built three apps, and spoke four languages. But when he got into his dream company, he called me crying, Kapalbai, I don't belong here. Everyone talks about technologies I've never heard of. They're going to find out I'm fake. I told him something that changed his perspective. Rohan, you weren't hired for what you already know. You were hired for your ability to learn. And six months later, he was leading a project team. So our generation has it harder because we are constantly exposed to everyone else's success stories. Now LinkedIn is full of 22-year-olds calling themselves thought leaders. Instagram has 19-year-olds with million-dollar businesses. No wonder we feel inadequate. But remember, for every success story you see, there are thousands of people just like you figuring things out one day at a time. So instead of I don't know what I'm doing, think I'm learning something new. Or instead of I'm going to be found out, think I'm growing into this role. Or instead of everyone else is better, think everyone else was once where I am now. So let me share the imposter toolkit. One, evidence collection. Keep a win's folder on your phone. Screenshot compliments, say positive feedback, note-down achievements, however small. Number two, the body system. Find someone you trust and share your imposter feelings. You'll be amazed how often they say, I feel the same way. Then third, the learning mindset. So instead of pretending to know everything, become curious, ask questions, say, I don't know, but I'll find out. Number four, progress tracking. Compare yourself to who you were six months ago, not to who someone else is today. So let me ask you something. What do you think builds more confidence? Giving a TED talk to a thousand people or speaking up once in a class of 30? Now most people would say the TED Talk, right? Wrong. Here's the thing about confidence. It's built through small, consistent actions that nobody notices. Not through big dramatic moments that everyone sees. Every confident person you admire gets there through tiny, invisible victories that seemed meaningless at the time. The student who eventually became a great leader, they started by asking one question in class. The entrepreneur who now runs a successful company, they began by selling one product to one friend. So in my second year of college, I was terrified to talking to professors. And one day I forced myself to ask my economics professor one doubt after class. Just one question. It took me 20 minutes to build the courage. And that professor answered my question and said, Good question, Kapil. And that's it. Three words. But those three words made me feel like I could conquer the world. And the next week I asked another question, then another, and by the end of the semester, I was having full conversations with teachers and they knew me by name. So one small question changed my entire college experience. So think of confidence like a bank account. Every small brave action is a deposit. Every time you avoid a challenge, that's a withdrawal. So you can't build wealth with one massive deposit. You need consistent savings. And now let's buzz the biggest myth about confidence right now. Ready? Confidence does not mean being the loudest person in the room. I know, I know. Bollywood movies, social media influencers, and motivational speakers have convinced us that confident people are always talking, always performing, always on. But that's like saying all intelligent people wear glasses, and it's just not true. Some of the most confident people I know are the ones who speak less but mean more. They are the ones who listen carefully, think before they speak, and when they do talk, people actually listen. And I know a girl named Priya who's an introvert. In college, she never spoke in group discussions, never volunteered for presentations, and always sat in the back row. Everyone thought she lacked confidence, but here's what they didn't see. Priya was the person everyone came to for advice. She solved problems quietly, helped friends through tough times, and created the most beautiful designs for college events. Was she confident? Absolutely. Did she fit the loud and outgoing stereotype? Not at all. So here's a question that changed my life. Am I trying to be confident or am I trying to look confident? And there's a huge difference. When you try to look confident, you copy others. But when you try to be confident, you discover yourself. Now Instagram and YouTube have made this thing. Confidence looks like perfect selfies, motivational quotes, and living your best life posts. But real confidence often looks like posting pictures without perfect lighting, sharing failures along with successes, being okay with not documenting every moment and supporting others instead of always promoting yourself. So think about these questions. When do you feel most comfortable being yourself? Or what do people come to you for help with? Or how do you naturally solve problems? Or we can even say, when do you feel proud of yourself? Or what would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? And your answers will show you your natural confidence style. So consider this: your official permission slip to be confident your own way. You don't need to become a motivational speaker to be confident. You don't need to be the life of every party. You don't need to have an opinion on everything. You just need to be authentically, unapologetically you. So as we wrap today's episode, I want to share something personal with you. Three years ago, I was convinced that confidence was something other people had and I didn't. I thought it was a club I wasn't invited to join. And today I'm talking to thousands of people through this podcast, mentoring students and building a career I love. Did I suddenly become a different person? No. I just understood that confidence isn't a destination, it's a journey. And here's the beautiful thing about journeys. Every step counts, even the small ones, even the shaky ones, even the backward ones sometimes. It's not about never feeling scared. It's about doing things despite feeling scared. It's not about being perfect, it's about being real. And it's not about having all the answers. It's about being curious enough to find them. And it's definitely not about impressing everyone because it's about respecting yourself. So whatever brought you to this podcast today, whether you're feeling lost, comparing yourself to others, or just wanting to grow, know that you're exactly where you need to be. Your confidence journey is unique to you. It might not look like anyone else's, and that's perfectly okay. Actually, that's what makes it beautiful. Before you go, I want to leave you with something that I hope will stay with you long after this episode ends. Confidence isn't something you find, it's something you build every single day with every single choice to be brave instead of safe, authentic instead of perfect, and kind to yourself instead of critical. You don't need permission to be confident. You don't need to wait until you feel ready. You don't need to become someone else. And here's what I want you to do right now, not tomorrow, not next week, but right now. Step one, take out your phone and open your notes up. Step two, write one thing you've been wanting to do, but haven't because you're not confident enough. It could be starting that YouTube channel, applying for that internship, talking to that person, learning that skill or sharing that idea. Then step three, write down the smallest possible first step you could take toward that thing. Not the big scary leap, just the tiny first step. Then step four, commit to taking that step within the next 48 hours. Not next month, not when you feel ready. Within 48 hours. And step five, send me a message on Instagram at study.abroad.academy telling me what your first step is going to be. I read every single message and I'll be cheering you on. And your future confident self isn't waiting for you to become someone else. They are waiting for you to start being yourself fully, authentically, and courageously. The person you admire for their confidence, they started exactly where you are right now. The only difference is they took the first step. And your first step is waiting for you. So that's a wrap on today's episode of the Kapil Gopta Kariya Part Show. If this episode helped you even a little bit, please share it with someone who needs to hear it. Sometimes we all need a reminder that we are not alone in this journey. Remember, confidence isn't a gift you are born with, it's a skill you develop, and you're developing it right now just by listening to this and thinking about your next step. So until next time, keep growing, keep being brave, and keep being authentically you. And this is Touple signing off. See you in the next episode.