SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome, wonderful listeners, to another enlightening episode of the Kapel Gupta career part show. In the bustling tapestry of Indian life, mothers play a pivotal role, often weaving the fabric that binds families together. They are the silent architects of dreams, the multitasking maestros who navigate the delicate dance of nurturing both careers and households. Yet, in the myriad responsibilities they shoulder, the essence of self-empowerment can sometimes be overlooked. Today, we delve into the unique challenge faced by moms in the Indian context, exploring the need for their empowerment. Not just as caretakers, but as individuals with dreams, aspirations, and the innate power to transform life. I am on a mission to coach and mentor 100,000 high school students and help them realize their dream of studying in the best universities of the world and build happy careers for themselves. But can we do without the support of our families and especially our moms? People say God created mothers because he couldn't be present everywhere. Mothers are special because they are the extension of God. They work round the clock without any complaints to keep us happy. But are we giving her her share of life or are we just taking our mothers for granted? So today I want to embark on a transformative journey with a truly extraordinary woman, Miss Weena. She's not just a former banker, she's a certified sound healer, a mom's empowerment mentor, and the author of four empowering books. Join us as we unravel the layers of her inspiring story, a journey that transcends careers, empowers moms, and resonates with the healing power of sound. This is just not an interview, it's a symphony of wisdom, a melody of empowerment and a guide for both moms and teenagers to find harmony in their lives. So grab your headphones or just glue to your screens and open your hearts because Miss Veena's insights are about to elevate your spirit. Welcome to an episode filled with the transformative magic of sound and the empowering guidance of Veenaji. So let's welcome Veenaji.

SPEAKER_00 3:23

Thank you so much, Kapilji, for having me here. I really appreciate the preamble you gave, the role of a mom in her kids, whether it is about the kids' education or the future of the kid or the well-being of the family, I really loved the way you brought out the essence of the mother. Thank you so much for that.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

Thank you, ma'am. Thank you. I'm so honored to have you as guest on my show. I'm sure the show also gets honored because of your presence.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

Thank you. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01 3:58

So without wasting any more time, and you know, our listeners, viewers will also be curious to get this started. Let me just begin with the basic or the most fundamental question that we would like to know your journey from banking to becoming a mom's empowerment mentor and a sound healer. What inspired this transformation?

SPEAKER_00 4:25

Yes, uh, just to tell about myself, yeah, I have been a banker for 22 years in State Bank of India. Yeah. Then I see every mom, every woman values her family first and everything else next. All moms will agree with me. So that is what happened to me. I was traveling different places, I was away from my family, so I wanted to be back. Then earlier, money was an issue and I needed the job. But once I was settled, I have one son and he had almost completed his studies. So I thought this is the time I want to be back with my family. So I actually quit my job, and you know, destiny no one knows what where destiny takes you. That's what exactly happened to me. But to come to this path, I had to go through a suffering to share with you, Kapilji and the viewers and the listeners. Uh, sometimes pain brings the future which is unexpected, which is so glorious. That is what happened with me because after my retirement, I met with a major accident and I was bedridden, emotionally weak, physically in pain. For an year, I could not even walk 10 steps. So that is when I started to look for healing for myself.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:43

I've always been a spiritual person from the past more than 20 years. I do meditations and I am into spirituality. But this healing, particularly, I went to heal myself. I never thought I will be a healer as such. So that's why I said destiny sometimes opens up paths out of the pain, a glorious future emerges. So that is where I found, first of all, I got healed. Then I found my purpose, what I wanted to do in my second innings of life. Even till date I feel in the bank, bank gave me everything in my younger days. In my first innings, I got prestige, dignity, money, everything, status bank gave me. I took from the people, but in my second innings, this is my uh turn to give back to the society. So that is how I became a healer. Then I thought my parenting journey had has had a lot of ups and downs. I had huge moms' guilt. I felt only son, I couldn't take care of him because I was a career person. It's it's such a tightrope walking, right, for all career women. So that made me reach out to other moms because, as a mom, when I was a career person, I felt no one is there to support me. I'm all alone. So I don't want any mom to feel like that. She should feel there is one elder sister who is there for her, who will guide her, who will emotionally support her. And in fact, my mission is to make the mom happy and empowered so that she in turn she will contribute to her family without you know shortchanging herself, without burning herself. So that is my balance which I provide to the moms. And when she is happy, her entire family is happy. That's the vision I see for every mom I meet. This was about me, Kapinji.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

Right, right. And you're actually very right because in my journey or in the olden days, I've seen like uh if females opted for careers, they were as if branded as that they'll be bad moms, right? And their whole uh you can say the whole education used to go waste, right? Correct, and and that was actually not the case because obviously they had their own aspirations also, but and especially the more trouble came when they used to get married and their in-laws' home, there was a total different scenario. People were not ready to accept their aspirations so readily, as I would say the times have changed, but still I believe we have a long way to go. So, as you also were juggling between the professional and personal responsibilities, what advice would you give to maintain a healthy work-life balance?

SPEAKER_00 8:38

Very true. What you said is very true. It is not, it is generally understood that family is a priority, but we are juggling two priorities all at once. We have deadlines at office, we have a sick child at home, the servant maid doesn't turn up, then you are unplanned, you know, unplanned routine changes, then what are you supposed to do? I've had many instances when I took my son with a high fever to my bank, he was lying on the sofa and I was working. So, all this I've undergone the travel morning to night, then coming back and looking, taking care of the home. It's a very delicate balance and very difficult balance, actually. As long as we are efficient, no one maybe notices. But once we lose our balance, everyone is affected in the family. So the main hack or the solution, what I share with my mom's community is do not neglect your self-care, your needs. Take some time, take breaks. You know, continuously we are working, then we get depleted. So a car without fuel, it can't run. An empty cup cannot give to others. Fill your cup. This is the first and foremost. Every other meet, whenever I meet moms, I tell them prioritize yourself, take your meet. I meet maybe five minutes, ten minutes. And because I practice practical spirituality, that is what take the spiritual uh thoughts and the perspectives and use it in your practical situations. This is what I advise moms. So I tell them do some meditation, self-care activity, even a mobile needs to be plugged in to get recharged. How about you? You need to recharge yourself. So these are simple hacks I suggest to them. Or, you know, even exclusive time with the children. Sometimes children uh want that quality time, and you're always with the family activities, you know, doing the work at home. So give exclusive time to children, especially when there's sibling uh fights. So the elder child feels you're giving more importance to the younger child. Younger one also says the same thing. So, this is one solution I tell mom spend time with one child at a time. Maybe the dad can take one child out, you can stay at home with another child, or vice versa. So that way the child feels special. So this is the way we have to handle, otherwise, time is short for everyone. Everyone has 24 hours, and maybe take a day off in between the week, half a day you can spend to nurture yourself. Then when kids are back from school, you can give them quality time, spend more time with them. So all these hacks help. And one more important thing I want to tell, especially for the working moms, we don't ask for help. I've seen in my career also, in office, we want to prove that we are very efficient. We don't ask for help and we want to be the best of the best at office and home. Nothing wrong in that, but there's no problem in delegating or asking for help. So when we are really tired, when we can't manage at home or even at our office, please ask for, please ask for help. Please see if there is some help available. You need not be a superwoman, you need not have that burden on you. This is the main attitude which working women especially need to develop so that they can relax, they can increase their productivity, in fact, by having this attitude.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

But see, uh, let's say if this is one aspect that husbands ask for just you know too much attention from the wives. The kids are also asking attention from mothers and their responsibilities towards the in-laws, etc. Right? But that is one aspect. But many times I have seen that the females themselves, you know, neglect the uh their own, you can say, or own life. Now, how do you deal with that? Because they do suffer, and because of that, and the one aspect is the for from others and the others from themselves. So they are suffering and they are harming themselves. So, how do you uh you know counter that?

SPEAKER_00 12:46

Right, very, very good question. You said it right. Moms are givers when you think of a mother, she's always giving, doing for others, caring for others. That is the ideal mom perception, and it's inbuilt in her also. From childhood, you know, she's a giver, she cares for others, she loves others. So this is inbuilt in us. Uh, at least nowadays, maybe the younger girls are realizing their own priorities, their own goals, aspirations in life, but at least a little bit elderly generation, we are not like that. So, as you said, the resistance comes from herself to take care of her needs. So, this is what I am trying to change in any of my meetings, in any of our discussions. I advise the moms enough. Now you're about, you know, almost 40 or above 40. Your half-life has gone as a daughter, as a mother, as a sister, as a sister-in-law, daughter-in-law, so many roles, employee, boss, colleague, she's playing so many roles. But what about your relationship with you? How long will you carry on like this? At least now let this be a wake-up call and so small, small wishes. It need not be anything very big that you go away from family and do something for yourself. Being there, doing your responsibilities, taking care of everyone, still, you can and you need to prioritize yourself. So I think this is my major part of the job because women are not having this kind of a mindset that I can prioritize myself because that has become a pattern in her life. Sabka de kenge par ham code kuchna hai chaye. So I do this kind of I call in fact my master class, a free masterclass I do, I'll give you the link. All moms can join. It's called self-awakening and conscious living. That is what I guide moms with.

SPEAKER_01 14:39

Cool. Because that is actually the need of the other. They also have to respect themselves, honor themselves, exactly to make others honor them. So the beginning should begin like from themselves only.

SPEAKER_00 14:55

Very, very true, very true.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

So as now coming because I am into career counseling and like and you yourself are a certified sound healer. Now, how did you discover the transformative power of sound and how can it benefit moms and teenagers in their daily lives? Because even teenagers uh go always, you know, a lot of stress, etc. So, how do you uh do that?

SPEAKER_00 15:28

Uh great question and very relevant. Actually, uh to share how I started my journey as a coach. You won't believe, uh, I don't know, even the you know this because I'm now I'm known as a mom's coach. But I started this coaching or you know, guiding others with children. And I used to take three-hour workshop for children to improve their focus, concentration, memory, and public speaking skills. Because as a parent, I had seen my son struggle, and in his 10th standard, I sent him to a personality development course, and drastically his future changed, exactly like you deal with high school students. At that time, they're in the cusp of neither the you know small child nor the proper teenager, so they're very unsure about themselves and this high school results scoring, all that pressure would be there. So, with my son, magically I have seen in the 10th standard, I sent him for the 10th standard subjects coaching, but they had an additional personality development course, and is to till this date he's a very confident person, and I give credit to that program, what he went uh to. So, exactly that I started to do with kids, and I used to take the sessions. My session used to start with sound healing, I used to make them all lie down, and when I played the uh I have different instruments, one of the instruments is the Tibetian singing bowl. I can show it to you, it is right there here. One of the bowls, I'll show it to you. This is the bowl. We have different bowls, and when we hit this, it gives certain vibrations. If you can hear the vibrations like this here, when you place it on the body part or near the head or near any part which requires relaxation, and we play it, we hit it, the vibration reaches the body. You can feel it. So, this kind of a workshop I started in person. This was all before COVID. Yeah, in person. I used to call the children, put mats, they used to lie down. It was all about focus and concentration, right? So immediately kids used to enjoy. Then I gave the balls in their hands, teach them how to do the healing to each other. So that is it was fun plus teaching, plus see with kids, it it needn't be everything, it can be serious learning that anyway they do in school. So I used to take them through art therapy. So this is what I suggest to moms, you know, make it a playful method. So as I was guiding these children, I used to communicate with them, talk to them what's happening in school, which is your favorite subject. Then I started to understand there is a gap. There is one teacher at school that are parents, and there is this child. So the connection is missing. Teacher thinks the kid has to learn everything from home, the basic behavior, habits, all that discipline. Parents think everything should be taught at school. This child is very confused. So I thought a mentor is needed to connect all these three. So that is how I became a parenting coach. I turned into a parenting coach because I realized somewhere 80% of the changes or the behavior what they the parents want from the kids has to come from the parents. The parents have to get the behavior what they need from the kids. So I started to talk to parents. So how to talk to teenagers, how to actually, you know, the kid is angry or moody or too much into gadgets. So, how can you address these issues? By the time COVID came, and that was a big problem for moms and dads that kids don't concentrate, they are in class, they are, you know, doing something without focusing on the studies. So, all these problems I used to address. So, that is how I feel sound healing, not only sound healing, with that, you know, sound healing is yes, one modality where their concentration focus can improve. Angry kids they can reduce their temper by taking this healing, but the child has to be open. The main problem with teenagers, they're not willing to come to this. So that is how I thought, let me train the moms. Each mom should be a coach and guide for her entire family. Why should they depend on me? Mom knows her kids best, even I teach healing to moms with which the moms, you know, the mom's heart is pure and filled with love. She can give that love to her kid in a subconscious way. That love will reach, the concern will reach, the kid will get that feeling, and the kid will start responding in a different way. Because this is what started to happen in my parenting coaching. They came back saying, your healings are all magical. My kid is talking to me nicely, sitting with me and chatting and listening to me, not so much into gadgets, all those results they started getting. So that is how I thought I'll focus on moms, I will make her the mentor of the family. First of all, her stress, tension should be reduced, she should feel reconnected to her family because the bonding is missing somewhere. There is some friction between the spouses or mother-in-law, daughter-in-law problems are there because of all these things, or she herself has some health issues, her energy is low, so she is not able to deal with the kids' tantrums or behavior. So when I empower that mom in this way, she will be the guide to her kids. So directly healing helps the kids if the kid is ready to come, ready for child counseling or even the healing, definitely it helps, especially for focus, concentration, and memory. I would suggest sound healing. And there are other methods, many other healings which will help the kid directly, or sometimes moms even request for distance healing. Uh, for example, one kid was not eating well, fuzzy eating, then the kid will not come for the healing. She she was a teenager, then mom sends the picture. Like it all depends on your belief. If you don't believe, don't take healing, please. Just because I said don't come. If you really believe healing works, if prayer works, healing works.

SPEAKER_02 21:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 21:37

Prayer works. So if you believe in prayer, healings also work. It is all energy which is all around us. So I do distance healing for kids if the kid is not willing. And more than that, I'll tell you the main power or the main effect happens when this mom starts to do the healing for her kid. I have even Moms are up time nayota. Moms are not moms, I always say, and I tell them practice practical spirituality. It will reach. So this is the healing method. Other than that, practical methods are also there.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

So that means we can say that there are specific sound healing techniques that can be beneficial for them. Because you automatically answered my next question. Because I've seen teenagers, you know, uh very stressed out these days, and many a times they you know take dire steps, which actually spoils the whole family. And mothers are themselves uh stressed out because of so many uh responsibilities over them, and then uh over that students or teenagers take such steps. So that is a beautiful idea that you made mom as the specific mentor in the teenage, also, because in any case we treat mothers as the first teacher of the child, so who can be a better teacher than her? So that is a huge support. I do agree with this, and uh, this is actually lovely to know that there are some sound healing techniques which can be beneficial.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

So and I would like to add, I would like to add because you mentioned healing, the environment of the house. So some positive wipes have to be created at home. So for that, also I have some suggestions. For example, there is something called water therapy. Okay, it is so simple. They said jug full of water. So this is called water therapy, where for example, if your children are very agitated, or for example, exams are coming and children is child is very tense. So children concentration, focus chaye. So write these two words, focus and concentration, on a sheet of paper, keep it facing to the sky. The word should be seen here on that. Place your bottle or a jug, except plastic, other material because the energy of those words passes to the water, and then that water the child can drink. Automatically, healing reaches. I'm talking about the children who resist direct healing, indirect methods be heos keli. Lots of testimonials I have got. That is why I said if you believe you come, if you think all this doesn't work, don't do it. Only if you believe it will work, because I have got umd feedback. Ah, this works, this works. So I say, okay, peace chame, right? Peace and everyone drink from that water. Even your matrilla will calm down, you will not, you yourself first, you will stop arguing or fighting with your husband. See, when mom comes to me, I'll tell you in the context of what we shared, the house atmosphere. If two people are fighting, how will the child focus and study? Bahar huske rummen, but bah lok chillar, how will the child study? So the house has to be peaceful. It is about the parents first, how they deal with each other. So when the mom comes and starts, for example, blaming or finding fault with spouse, with mother-in-law, uh, I listen to her. Of course, someone is needed to give a sympathetic listening where I'm not judging her, I'm not judging her, but I'll say what will you do about it? Not what your husband should do, how he should change. That will never happen if you're always looking for the change in the other person. But how you can start the change in your behavior or your response so that you get the response what you need from the other person. Right. This is how entire everything is connected to each other. It is not just about teenagers not studying. Why are they not studying? There are other issues. Ah, difference they will start to have their own uh routine and their own, they will go away from the studies if mother and father don't agree. Mummy both the study, daddy both. So, such differences add to the problem. That is why I said mom can be a mentor of the entire family when she knows our power. She has to first know, oh, I am powerful, I can do this.

SPEAKER_01 26:33

Right, right, and uh with this, I come to the next part. Like uh nowadays, I have seen so many uh you know, uh mentors, healers talking about mindfulness, so it's gaining popularity as a stress management tool. So, how can moms incorporate this mindfulness into their daily routines? And especially with if we already discussed that they have such hectic schedules. So, how do they do that?

SPEAKER_00 27:05

Right, very, very beautiful question and the topic. Uh, like I said, yeah, meditation is a deeper practice, and you have to sit somewhere, you have to close your eyes. Mom say, I have so many things to do, I don't have time, or I can't focus. In fact, many moms say, if I close my eyes, a lot of thoughts come. I think about the things to do, so many things to handle. So, mindfulness is the next best step. It is also meditation, it is also like meditation, but where you're totally involved in your job. And if you see Kapilji, not only women, it may happen to some men also when you're in office, you're thinking about something as you come home, then you worry about your office. So you're not present there where you are, your mind is somewhere else. So that actually reduces your productivity, your effectiveness at work, or even in your kitchen, or even when you're sitting with your children for their studies, if your mind is elsewhere, you're not focused, and that reduces the effectiveness of whatever you're doing. So, mindfulness, if you adapt, if you can adapt it as a practice, of course, entire day you won't do it initially, but if you start practicing, you'll become like you know, every moment you're totally 100% present there. We moms do multitasking a lot of time, so that is also very distracting. Neither we are happy with this nor that, and results are all not uh up to the optimum. So, why don't we focus on one particular job and get the satisfaction of doing it well, being there, totally involved, and no stress, stress ka to immediate antidote ho jatai. Stress tension will run away because you don't have anything else to do at that time because you are focusing on this time here. What is mindfulness? Whatever you're doing. For example, I'm sitting here talking to you, you are also conversing with me. So our mind is entirely here. I'm not thinking, SMS, I'm not sure. At the end of this interview, I'll not be happy the way I answered or the content I shared here because my mind is elsewhere. So this is the dissatisfaction happening for moms, even for children. So, mom, when she learns, she will teach her family also. Whatever tips I share with my moms, the best thing is her husband learns, her children learn, all children know who is Venanti. Now I have you know, I haven't met the child, all the children, but they know she's mama's teacher. They think, oh, I have a teacher, so she is mama's teacher, like that they assume. So, like that, mommy shares her whatever she follows, even if it is about mindfulness. Children see mother calmly handling the things. She's totally with them when she's with them. Or if she's doing some other office work, she'll tell Beta I'm busy, I'll attend to you after five minutes. You know, that shows that mom is totally there and she's prioritizing herself so she can set an example how to calmly handle the things, be totally 100% present. Uh so that is how it not only helps her and others also will develop that mindset of being 100% present, and it it leads to so many advantages as you practice more and more. Very important question you asked. Thank you for that.

SPEAKER_01 30:17

Thank you. And it's very beautifully said, as uh it is said that when you educate a man, you educate an individual, but when you educate a female, you educate a family, and you're actually making that happen. So, yes, really kudos to you.

SPEAKER_00 30:34

And now let's this is my secret, actually. This is my secret. I tell the moms, you think I am guiding you, I am coaching you, I am healing you. I have a secret, I have a bigger vision. I want not only you to smile, I actually visualize the entire family smiling and happy with each other. That is the ultimate goal. Why mom comes to me? She wants that, she wants her family to be happy, she wants to be an individual who is uh has some aspiration, she wants to achieve it by balancing the family. Ultimately, it's about that, right?

SPEAKER_01 31:08

And as I in the beginning, I've already told uh you know, you are a very profound author, also. So now let us come to that because you have authored four books. So, could you share some key insights or wisdom from your books that would resonate with both moms and teenagers?

SPEAKER_00 31:28

Sure, sure. Uh somehow I feel blessed, it was not too much planned, it just happened. I really feel uh God, universe has made it very easy for me, and I would like to thank my mentors. One or the other mentor has held my hand. That is why in four years I myself can't believe I've been here for four years, like doing this healing, coaching, guidance, and everything has become a kind of fast track. I give the entire credit to my mentors and universe, God, of course, and my family they are supporting. So, my first book was autobiographical, the and also the guidance for moms, the incredible mom. I told you how I had huge moms guilt because uh two years, I for two years I left my son in a residential school. Like we both were earning. We are both, my husband is also a banker, ex-banker now, he's also retired. So, kiss keliya man karte bole, apneli kele, butchong kile. We couldn't take care of him, we just put him in a hostel. Tender age of he was in fourth standard, and I put him in a residential school. It was so much, it was so much difficult for me, a lot of guilt was there. And then somehow I brought him out. That time financial problems were also there. I couldn't immediately bring him. I was staying in a ladies' hostel, he was in a residential school, husband was in a different town. With a lot of struggle, I arranged the money to take a house on rent, then I brought him back, then husband came back. Step by step, step by step, I really struggled to bring my family together and have a balance between my career and family. And so I had to share my pain and also my lessons, what I learned. So that is how this book came up. As I wrote, as to cry a lot, all my pains. I am a happy person, Kapilchi. If you also know me personally, I you must not have seen me quiet and subdued like that. I'm this kind of a person, but those pains were still there. I realized as I wrote, literally, you know, tears were falling on the pages. Then I went back to my mentor. I said, I can't write, I don't want to write. He said, Mr. Rahul George is my very personal mentor guide, and I owe a lot to him. And he said, Veenaji, if you don't bring your pains out, how will the other mom know that you know she can also be brave to handle her pains? So that is how the first book happened, and a lot of guidance I've given to the moms because of my journey as a parent, as a mom, and my child struggle challenges, all that I have put there, and I have guided the mom in the same situation to deal with it however best she can. So, all the guidance I've shared. That is my first book. In the second book, since I took a lot of meditations, it was about meditations, and I had a hobby I still have, but I don't get time to paint much. I'm a watercolor artist, so I compiled everything one painting with one meditation and a write-up about that meditation. So, like this, that's a beautiful e-book. That is why it does not come in print because it has YouTube links of the video. It is an e-book on one side. There's my painting related to the theme, and uh 30 meditations collection. So it is called the journey inward. And third book, by then I was doing parenting coaching. Then moms needed this advice or guidance, a very short and simple book. It is called No More Yelling. All these books are available on Amazon. Again, it is about the mom, like I was sharing with you, the parent has to change the attitude or the way they communicate with the kids, then they will get the required response from the kids accordingly. So, no more yelling is the for the mom to control her anger, her frustration. It should not go on the child. Many moms told me it's not about my child all the time. Or it's a mistake, I I shout at them like too much, and then she feels again she regrets and she feels a guilt.

SPEAKER_02 35:31

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 35:32

It's it's actually troubling her, but she's not able to control. So that is how I guided the moms in that no more yelling, what other problem she has, how she can handle it, all this guidance I gave. And lastly, uh suddenly one day one idea came. This is another beautiful creation which happened. My fourth book, I had a parenting group about 150, 170 parents were there. Then I just announced one day, you're all parents, all moms, contribute one story each about your parenting. One story which stands out, and let us compile everything. Uh, don't pay me any money. I just want to, I felt like doing it. So, we 21 moms, we contributed one story each, compiled everything. Such beautiful stories are there. Each mom has shared about her children, their childhood, parenting uh journeys. It's called Parent Days, Joys and O's. This is one beautiful book. This is my fourth book with other 20 moms. So this has been my author journey till now. Don't know when the next book will come when inspiration strikes, it'll happen.

SPEAKER_01 36:37

Yeah, all our blessings for your next book, also, and we would love to see that. Thank you so much. And as you mentioned about your mentor Rahul George, because yeah, uh, I also know him very well. And earlier, I think in fact, we connected through Rahul Ja.

SPEAKER_00 36:53

Though we are in a bigger community, this is a kind of a closeness developed because of a common mentor who is Rahul Jaj. Yeah, yeah. Let's acknowledge him truly as well.

SPEAKER_01 37:03

He made a beautiful impact on my life. I did a podcast with him on self-belief, and that was just awesome. So, yes, he's an awesome person, and uh no wonder an awesome mentor. Yes, yeah, we must acknowledge him because he is impacting. Yes, thank you, thank you. And and see, uh, I've heard that and I've seen you're impacting so many lives, right? And can you just share some specific transformative moment or some success story from your experience with working moms that you can say uh had a lasting impact on you also?

SPEAKER_00 37:45

Yes, it's a little emotional. I had already started doing this parenting, and I was I was a coach by then. I'm a life coach and I'm a parenting coach. Uh, in 2020, my sister, she's my cousin, but as good as my own sister. Her name is Deepa. She hanged herself and she committed suicide. And that was such a shock. And for months together, I was crying, crying. I couldn't understand what happened because of her emotional problem. She was this mom whom I'm helping. Now she is the mom I'm helping because that left such a deep pain in my heart. Why should any mom suffer? Why shouldn't she seek support when she's feeling such depth of the depth? Why is there no one for her when she wants to reach out? So this started bothering me, and that's how I started, you know, doing from parenting. I came to be a mom's mentor. But then one day after this incident, I was questioning all my mentors, why this happened? Why my sister went away leaving me like this, you know. I had to take a lot of healing for that. And then one day I received a voice message. Ma'am, I don't want to leave one lady, one mom. I am going to hang myself now. I panicked, Kapilji. I panicked. I didn't know how to handle because I had my own grief background. Then I said some words to her, I consoled her. At the same time, she was part of a group of moms. We had a club in the WhatsApp group. It was called Zen Mom's Club. And I shared in the Zen Moms Club, see, this mom is feeling very low. Please give her some words of kindness and assurance. And all the moms immediately, whoever were in the group, they said anonymously, I didn't want to share her name. So they consoled her, they said, Whatever it is, don't worry, you will come out of it. And by some time she was pacified. Then till now no one knows who that mom is. I know, but I'll never disclose her names. Then she personally sent me a voice message. Ma'am, I'm feeling much better now. I'll not take such a drastic decision. I owe my life to you. Uh till the eight I feel that time I panicked. I didn't know. First time I heard something like this, and then I feel, wow, if I could save lives. Imagine that mom, how much her children would have missed her. You know, my sister is no more, she has one son. He's still studying, is about to complete his studies, and his entire future his mother can't see. You know, this should not happen with any family. This difficulty problem, what you have right now, any mom listening to me, this is today's problem. Tomorrow's very positive days are coming. If you are not there, you know, nobody will miss you, things will go on. But then you deserve to see that happiness. If you have seen pain in your life, you also deserve to see this happiness. So, this is one you know, life-saving. If now also I feel sometimes, you know, every person has self-doubt. Every person feels even like I'll tell about myself. I will I feel what am I doing? Some days I feel so. Even my family says you're giving your entire time there. What about us? You say no to many social functions, or whenever we want you, you're not there. So, but then I feel then I start questioning myself, am I doing the right thing or not? Then I feel if I have saved lives, what else? You know, this is the noblest thing I can do. If I could do that through my coaching, I never knew what results I will give, what will happen. But somehow moms are taking and they are improving their lives, they are contributing to their families. Again, one more instance. Last January I started three days challenge. Three days challenge, meditation challenge for moms. Some from somewhere one mom joined, and second day she said, I don't want to leave some problem, no money, no one understands me. I told her, see, I have already lost one sister, I don't want to lose another sister. Then I told her some words of courage and comfort, and after that, she said, Thank you. Till date I have not shared with anyone. So I can say, Veena, what have you done? If someone questions, you know, there are some doubters around me. Oh, what are you doing after all? Is this some time pass or something? So I can tell them at least, you know, to convince myself more than them to convince myself. I can say, at least I have saved two lives. Maybe many, I don't know, but at least two lives I have saved. Many children will be smiling because their moms are in a frame of mind. Many husband-wife relationships. One case I remember one particular situation where one mom had left her husband and she went out of station to her mother's house. She called me, she was literally crying. One hour I spoke to her. She said, Ma'am, I want to separate, I don't want to be there. She had one son, small son, and she spoke to me. I said, Okay, that's the ultimate decision. If you want to separate divorce, no one can stop you. She had some problems, not with the husband, but with the in-laws. Then some counseling happened. Then she decided, no, ma'am, because I spoke to you, I want to give it one more chance, I'll go back, then I'll see. So till date, her family is intact, she's happy now. She has sorted out the issues.

unknown 43:06

Yeah, good.

SPEAKER_00 43:07

So Kapaji, tell me if this is what is happening, then definitely at the cost of you know my time with my family, I'm ready to spend time with my clients and give them value. I'm spreading happiness, that's it, that's enough. That's enough for a lifetime. Can I share one more personal thing, please? I mean, yeah, sure. Please, please. You are now seeing me in a sari. Okay, whoever is watching this interview, some of you, if you know me, you normally see me in a kurta dress. So, this sari I'm wearing today, I it came to me by courier by around 6 p.m. This session, this recording is happening at 7 p.m. By 6 p.m., I received a courier. This is a surprise gift from my mom's.

SPEAKER_02 43:52

Wow, wow.

SPEAKER_00 43:54

My birthday is coming shortly, and just like that, it has come. And I opened this is their last. House of Kapilji. This is not just this, Ari. This is their love. I'm feeling their love.

SPEAKER_01 44:04

Definitely, definitely.

SPEAKER_00 44:06

And I'm feeling very blessed and happy. So I thought, okay, let me wear it today. They have said that.

SPEAKER_01 44:11

No, no, so nice of you.

SPEAKER_00 44:17

Sometimes I give bags as gifts to my people, my moms, everyone starts gifting back to me. Some relative, some friend starts gifting back. I gift cosmetics, cosmetics come to me. Universe is watching. So I feel best to be in this flow of uh you know positivity. That much I can say.

SPEAKER_01 44:42

I have like uh somewhat similar incident to share with you. Uh can I take the liberty to do that?

SPEAKER_02 44:47

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 44:49

Because uh I sometime back I made a reel, you know, or because uh in the newspapers, whenever I see that some student committed suicide and etc. So I really feel hurt. Why is it happening? Because most of the times, whenever I go into the reason, we as counselors we have solutions to that, and very, very simple solutions. But students don't reach out to us. But one fine morning, early morning, I got a call. I was sleeping, so like five o'clock in the morning. And the I didn't know the person, uh there was a girl on the other side, but she saw that real somehow, or she was on the verge of committing suicide. But before that, she just happened to call me and before speaking, she was literally crying. And early in the morning, some unknown female calling, or even I was awake. So I sat straight, or she started speaking, then that she was not able to clear her need exam. Or she was feeling pressured. So but I was successful in making her talk with me. I have the solution. So that just statement shayadus, soothing raha. Did though hunte, she talked to me on the phone. Jabu Hasne Lagi, Bath Karne Lagi, then I was relaxed. Now moment chalagya. So at least she will not till a couple of months. I did, you know, pursue her or bath karter. She's safe, she's calm, she'll handle it. So incident as a justified yes, we are on the right track.

SPEAKER_00 47:03

Definitely, it goes beyond money. Of course, we charge, of course, business be chalana, but somewhere it is the best of both, I feel. You know, it is like life. That girl's entire future, you made her you gave her a reason to leave. It's it's so beautiful, really. So she doesn't know what the future was for her.

SPEAKER_01 47:25

So I always say to all students, reach out. Counselors, maybe counselors, they will have solutions to your problems. True. But I could decision the truth is counselors do have and very, very simple solutions.

SPEAKER_00 47:42

So can we also add here parents to just understand what's going on in the minds of kids, not to put too much pressure? Sometimes they don't listen to parents, but they'll listen to the counselors, especially teenage men. So that's why parents also need to give that support to the kids.

SPEAKER_01 48:01

I have seen that many times, ma'am, parents stress, but people around them. So parents have to be you know alert on that also. But what about the others?

SPEAKER_00 48:30

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 48:31

So that aspect should also be seen.

SPEAKER_00 48:34

Maybe they need to teach the kids. They need to teach the kids uh to not get affected by such remarks or comments.

SPEAKER_01 48:42

So you are working with moms, you are working with their kids. So, what advice would you give to teenagers who are navigating such challenges of adolescence or in you know keeping in context of the changing world we live in?

SPEAKER_00 49:00

Okay, teens friends become your word, your peers, your classmates. They are most important to you. If they approve of something, then it is good. That is a natural development. So you're becoming a bigger boy or bigger girl who can take your decisions, but your parents still think you are small, you know, they want to be in your life. So this detachment doesn't come immediately. So try to be more understanding of your parents' love. You know, your parents' love becomes too much binding for you. That uh sort of a situation starts developing, so you become irritated and you want to catch up with your friends, uh, be on social media, all that is attract attractive. Uh, we all understand as your mentors' counselors, we understand your side of the story, but parents from their side they are overconcerned about your studies, about your health, whether you're eating one time. So just try to understand when they're trying to tell you something, they are not trying to control you or you know, just listen to me as what I say is correct. That maybe their attitude, like you may get that attitude from them, but man may unko they are your best well-wishes. So, whenever I counsel teenagers, I did that also with many of the kids as to tell them your parents, you know, when your friends leave you and go away, ultimately your parents will still be waiting for you, they're always there for you. So please believe in them, trust them. And this initial, you know, few years of teenage rift because parents, you know, they put some rules and they want something from you, but you are having your own aspirations. So just sit and discuss with them. Why argue for everything? Why don't you calmly discuss with your dad, with your mom? At least listen to them what they are saying. You need not accept, listen to them. So, to the parents, also, I say, you know, keep repeatedly telling them what is good for them, whether they follow it or not. But teenagers are actually very intelligent. They'll listen to the parents later they will process. Usa my, maybe they'll become irritated. Why are you always telling me I know what to do? That attitude is there in teens. So please control your anger, do some daily meditation. If possible, five minutes jugabat key peacefully. You need inner peace. You also don't like that constant fighting irritations at home. So keep yourself peaceful, uh, have healthy habits, take nutritious food, don't get carried away by what your friends say, some bad habits like smoking, alcohol, all this is becoming common in the long run. Who is the loser? At the right time, when it is the nick of the time, you need to focus more on your studies. If you're wearing away from that, carried away with some addictions or attractions, then this period won't come back. You know, you can't study in college when you're 30, 40. Finish it off. Achieve what you want to, right? So that the right time you need to choose your career, you need to choose your life path. Stick to your path, uh, be peaceful if you're agitated. Parents, then you can't focus on your studies. So see that this clashes reduce and be with good company. Friends may upko chun ne ko milta. You can get good friends, you can get studious friends, you can get friends who just want to enjoy their life. It's a choice, it's your choice. So be very careful. One teenager I want to, I am remembering now, he had one focus kapilji. He was in high school, was telling me I want to go to NDA. Okay, NDA major small guy, he had big dreams. I asked him why. What is your why? Then he said, See, people will respect me and I like it. The moment I am into NDA and I get into the armed forces, the entire perception will be different. That was his dream. Then his parents sent to me, his dad told me, I remember, my son is already a diamond, and I am sending this diamond to you so that you can polish him more. So, parents' children were in sync. So, this is what my advice to teenagers when you and your parents, and this guy achieved his goal. He got into a preparatory school which is preparing him for NDA. He's still doing that now, and I am sure he will achieve his dreams. So, this is my advice to both parents and teenagers. Be on the same track, whatever age your kid is, it is not just about teenagers, the problem is outside. You both are on one side. Sometimes you think you know, problem is with them. The parents feel the problem is with the child, child feels problem with the parent. That is not the truth. You both are on one side, problem is the enemy. You both have to jointly tackle the problem. So have this mindset. Both children and parents, please have this mindset. We are together in this journey and we will solve this problem or difference, whatever is there. So do it jointly, and then both you and your child will be happy. I place most responsibility on parents only somehow. I'm more you know, kids are kids. If they don't do it, follow them. So more responsibility on the parent. Teens will be teens, kids will be kids, but you keep telling them, big bringing them back to track. For that, you need to have a lot of patience and understanding between you and your spouse. All these things matter.

SPEAKER_01 54:33

And before uh I conclude, because I'm actually loving this conversation with you, but yes, everything has to come to an end. But because and we have already said that we'll be sharing your you know link here so that moms can definitely, you know, they would love to connect with you. But before that, if I ask you three suggestions that you want to give to the working moms or and moms in general, so what will they be?

SPEAKER_00 55:01

Self-care Kapilji. Prioritize self-care me time. How much ever busy you are, at least take five to ten minutes, five to ten minutes for yourself. Secondly, think of yourself as a powerful person. Moms come to me feeling like victims. I can't do anything, my children don't listen to me, my mother-in-law troubles me, I have this problem in office. You can solve everything. You have your power inside you, just you need to connect with yourself. This is my second advice. The moment you have that attitude, the solution start coming. You're no longer problem-oriented, you become solution-oriented. Then, thirdly, organize your life, especially working moms. You have to be smart. One mom few days ago, she had messaged me. I do a lot of hard work and I'll manage somehow. I asked her, Why should you do hard work? Do smart work. Be smart. So be smart, delegate. Like I said, you don't ask for help normally. So ask, delegate, see what work you can reduce so that what is a real priority you can focus on that, whether at office or at home. So these three advice just like that came to me, and it's immediately they it will give results to them. So with that assumption, I've shared this simple solutions.

SPEAKER_01 56:12

Yeah, thank you, ma'am. Thank you. And as we conclude this enlightening conversation with you, uh, the mom's empowerment mentor, I would ask you to remember empowerment isn't just an idea, it's a journey. Every mom has a unique melody within her, waiting to be heard, waiting to resonate with the chords of her dreams. And let this conversation be a compass guiding both teenagers and moms alike towards a harmonious life filled with purpose, passion, and the sublime music of empowerment. Thank you, thank you, Vinaji, for being here.

SPEAKER_00 56:53

It was a wonderful interaction. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01 56:55

Thank you, thank you. It was an honor.

SPEAKER_00 56:57

Will dads also be watching this?

SPEAKER_01 56:59

Yeah, yes, why not?

SPEAKER_00 57:01

So one request for all dads, okay? One request and one half. You're also a dad. So I mean, yeah, if uh a husband, as a husband, because I talk to moms always, I want to tell the other counterpart. Uh, notice small things your wife is doing and appreciate her, acknowledge her effort. Just say, uh, chalokai bar child, chuta chhota things, small, small things you do for your wife. Her energy will increase like anything. Then she'll give more for the kids, even if your mom fights with Ariani, mother-in-law, daughter in the problem, or that we solve if you become that kind of a person who shows his care. So it's a simple request to dads, just appreciate, acknowledge, make her feel good once in a while. Whenever you remember, please make an effort.

SPEAKER_01 57:50

Very true, very true, and fully agree with you on this. Fully agree.

SPEAKER_00 57:54

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you so much. Very nice interactions, Kapilji. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01 58:00

Same, yeah, same, yeah. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 58:01

Thanks to everyone who have watched this. Thank you so much. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 58:05

And just a call for uh the listeners that if you have any questions, suggestions, or just want to say hello, feel free to reach out. And we are here to help and engage in meaningful conversations with you. And don't miss out on future episodes on valuable life insights. Subscribe to the Kapil Gupta Kareer Pod Show on your favorite podcast platform to stay informed and inspired. And if you have found value in this podcast, help us reach more listeners by sharing it with your friends, family, and colleagues who might benefit from our discussion. So, thank you for joining us on the Kapil Gupta Kareer Pod Show. Until next time, keep listening to the beast of your own empire. Thank you.