SPEAKER_02 0:03

Hello to my podcast listeners. Welcome back to another electrifying episode of the Couple Gupta Career Pot Show. And today we've got a guest who is nothing short of a dynamo. And you can feel my energy is already up. The one and only Mr. Uday Ayer, or as many of you may know him as Yuri. Yes. Yuri is a man of many talents. He's the former vocalist of the legendary band Agni, the electrifying voice between behind the iconic song Tanda. But that's not all. Yuri is also a voiceover wizard, a theatre virtuoso, and a communication skills master. After 22 years in the corporate rat race, Yuri decided to do something completely insane. He dropped the nine to five grind and followed his heart full time. Now he's living his dream, like teaching, singing, motorcycling, and even exploring the wild side of life. Oh, and did I remember or did I mention he's the go-to guru for communication skills? UD has trained over 5,000 students in hardcore communication skills, covering everything from verbal to non-verbal communication. He's also been the verbal reasoning jetty for GMAT, GRE, and SAT aspirants for a solid five years. But wait, there is more. Yuri didn't just talk the talk, he walked the walk. He's the title holder of Super Speaker Season 2, a prestigious reality show that shifted through a jaw-dropping 2,15,000 entries to find the best speaker in the entire country. You heard that right. The whole country. And now Yuri is on a mission to supercharge the communication skills of those who need it most offering invaluable courses online. So buckle up because today's episode is going to be an electrifying ride with Mr. Udea here, the man of music, motorbikes, and monumental communication skills. So let me welcome Yudi. Welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Yeah! Oh my God, holy mother of God, thank you so very much. Thank you so very much, Kapil G.

SPEAKER_01 3:11

You, the entire world, whoever's watching and whoever is listening to us, a huge salute to all of you, a huge best wishes and blessings to all of you, and thank you very much. I am and Kapil sir, both of us are immensely grateful for all of you for all the continuous blessings and best wishes to both of us. Thank you very much. Thank you very much for having me here, Kapil G. I am so excited, I'm not as excited as you are.

SPEAKER_02 3:44

Yeah, same, yeah. The same excitement is you know, I'm already having loose dumps. I do have that effect on people. I was waiting to invite you and to see you in my show, and I'm feeling so honored today. Oh thank you, and I want you know the whole value to be passed on to my listeners, they can really get a whole electrifying experience today.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

Yes, I that that is a promise. That is a promise, and uh to add on to what you just said, Kapilji. Yes, even I was very eager to come to your podcast and uh listen to your voice. Ah, I'm such a huge fan of your Barry Tone, sir. Abjazzy Barry Ton, Hamaibi Hoti. Ah, beautiful, amazing, amazing, man, amazing. Your voice is meant for a podcast. Thank you very much for having me here, sir. Thank you. So nice to see you, sir.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

Then let's get started. Absolutely. Listeners will be waiting. Absolutely. See, today's podcast is all about giving value, knowing you, and knowing what you do. So let's begin first of knowing about you a little bit, right? Those unforeseen or the hidden corners of your life. So I want you that if you can share a bit about your journey and how you became a communications coach, considering your diverse talents in singing, long distance biking, and public speaking.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

Yes, yes, yes. Oh uh Kapil to begin with. All right, let's start.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

Let's get if you're ready for a story time. Let's begin. Yeah, Kapilji, I am, I belong to, I was born and raised in a Tam Brahm family, the Tamil Brahman family from a very orthodox family. And I was born in Deep Tamil Nadu. However, I was raised in MP and Maharashtra. So my first language is Tamil, my second language is Hindi, my third language is Marathi, and my fourth language is English. To begin with, though I am a communication coach, English language, because the moment you start looking up to that language, it becomes more different. I think our Indian like Indian languages are much more beautiful and refined and sound musical to the ears compared to English language. We know that, you know that. Yeah, yeah, fully agree with you. So it all started that way. Now I happen to be one of those few lucky people in life uh who realized at a very young age that when I grew up, I won't, I would want to make a living out of doing something I am good at. Maybe, just maybe, it's got nothing to do with my qualifications. Though, because I was from an orthodox old-fashioned family, the importance to education has always been immense throughout my childhood. So I knew so uh it was inbuilt in me that getting till you you know, finish your master's at least. Because uh, you know, all my cousins and everybody they they were uh doing ICWAs and company secretary and uh uh you know, chartered accountants, all my cousins like that. I was the only black sheep in the family. Actually, not the black sheep, I was the black dinosaur of the family. But I may bilk interest 10th standard. I was a very bad student, average student. I however I used to grab every opportunity of facing people right from my fifth or sixth standard. I used to grab any any opportunity. I used to conduct the uh morning assemblies when I when I was a student, right from fifth standard. I used to uh sing national anthem, I used to sing my school songs, I used to participate in breakdancing competition, I used to participate in mono acting, then I used to participate in sports day, march pass what mazata mojikana, because march pass and all taught you a certain way to communicate and look here and there, follow a command, and you know, they follow the rhythm and get the sense of a beat. So, all that I took a lot of interest in that compared to books. And when it came to studies, then my favorite subjects just there were just two subjects, English and Hindi, believe it or not. When always a student, I I used to always grab all public speaking of uh uh competitions like elocution, drama, debate, you name it, and I used to grab them. So, and uh the advantage of my school was all these events I two languages uh I I had the liberty to use, which were English and Hindi. Later on, I got into rock singing when I from my first year of uh graduation, BCOM. I I I'm a ex-symbiosis student from Pune University. So yes, I did my MBA from Pune University, so I finished that 10th standard um Kapal G. I was a bad student. I scored, uh yeah, let me just just tell it to tell it to the world. I scored a 42%, 42% in my 10th standard. And I'm spadies and gentlemen, and my interviewer is a study abroad expert. How that's life. That is right, that is life. However, sir, my life changed first time. I went with my dear father to Wardia College in Pune, and in front of the dean, I saw my father's nonverbal facial expression and the tone of his voice. I had never seen my darling late father as if he sounded as if he was begging in front of someone for me, and that is something it blew my mind. I had never seen my father in, you know, I'd as just a beak manga, sir. That kind of an intonation, and I something happened, something broke. From that day onwards, Couple G, I I took studies as a challenge. I'm an MBA gold medalist, by the way. After that, it was an incline.

SPEAKER_02 10:42

What a transformation!

SPEAKER_01 10:43

What a transformation. I'm I'm an MBA gold medalist. Uh I've specialized in advertising, focused in marketing, and focus on advertising. So from there, after I finished my MBA, I shifted to uh Mumbai. In Mumbai, I was there in the advertising industry for almost 11 years as a copywriter, as a visualizer, right from a classified ad, an obituary ad, till a television commercial. I've done them all. And if in Pune, Kirloska's Pune, the very famous company with their base, their baseline tagline, which says um uh, you know, uh the Kirloska tagline and even the Kirloskar Milchi logo, all of them are used to be part of the entire promotion campaign. You know, enriching lives. That's the baseline of Kirloskar. And the person who gave that baseline, you are speaking to him right now, sir. Wow. Thank you very much. So, so I I have after 11 years of advertising, I lost my my dear father. I had to shift back to Pune. My mom was all alone and a chronic asthma patient, so I had to shift back due because she's an asthma patient. She I couldn't take her back to, I mean, shift her from here to Mumbai because the weather wouldn't suit. And uh, I always prioritize everything in my life around my mother because after you know I lost my dad. So I shifted back to Pune. I continued in the field of advertising for around four years. However, I was so used to the high standards of advertising which I've encountered in Mumbai for nine, almost 10 years, 11 years. Taking it more in Pune, taking the pressure, taking the at least those days I'm talking about early to uh 2000. Uh I'm sorry to use the word, but the mediocrity which prevailed in the advertising creative market in a city like Pune, I couldn't take it more than four years. Then I decided I'm going to quit advertising. And uh and and another reason uh I quit advertising, sir, was I realized that for 11 years, majority of the time, I was making people buy things they didn't need. So that also hit me. So that also hit me. I made a lot of money, no doubt about it. I'm not trying to discourage advertising, it's an amazing, very if you're a creative person whoever's listening to me, you must try out uh the advertising industry. It is fantastic, it's very challenging, and it's a there's a lot of work satisfaction. It's immensely hard work, but there's a lot of work satisfaction if you're a creative person, if if you like visuals, if you're into designing, you know, those kind of things come easily to you, interest you. So whoever's listening. Then, sir, then I didn't know what to do, Kapulji. Then I remember I'm one of those few lucky ones who always wanted to exploit and make a living out of what I'm good at. So I sat and with the paper and pencil, what else am I good at? Yes, my voice. Someone told me, uh, Yuri, have you heard of call centers? I said, then I'm in a panimage halang lagai to learn to swim. I joined Emphasis Call Center. I used to take calls for 10 months, but my English language and my 11 years of uh rock singing and my years of you know doing voiceovers for animation, cartoon films, industrial narrations and documentaries, docudramas, my knowledge of using my voice effectively, and I'm very good with microphone techniques. I know all the microphone techniques when it's indoors, different kinds of microphones, I know how to use them. So, with all that knowledge, taking calls in a call center was Chutkika Khan. And I used to take calls like a radio jockey because I had a lot of immense knowledge of America, I had a lot of uh knowledge about rock music, American culture. So all the American customers used to get very impressed. 10 months. So my operations manager comes to me. This was 2004, he came to me, Yuri, place the customer on hold. I place the customer on hold, and then he said, All right, remove your headphone. Yuri, today is the last day of IJP. IJP stands for internal job posting, and it's for process trainer. I'm very thankful to that operations and manager. I'll never forget that gentleman in my life because that's how I got to know there was a trainer in me that I could be a good trainer, not just a trainer, I could be a good trainer. Until today, I'm trying to become a better trainer every day. So I got into process training. I used to teach um uh, you know, for uh banking industry, I used to teach the uh process of the product I used to teach for one, one and a half years. I didn't, I'm not a very good product person, I'm a creative person, and I wanted to get into voice and accent training, where I got my first experience. I did that for 14 years before I took a voluntary retirement from Vippro IT. I did that for for good 14, 15 years, voice and accent and communication training, customer service, and the works. And that's how my knowledge about different kinds of English accents. Why, if if I'm an Indian, if I'm an Indian manager, if why there could be any barriers of communication and so on and so forth. So from there, sir, after 22 years, I realized that oh man, I had creative admiras, I had enough of the rat race. I said, even if I win it, I'm going to remain a rat. So I took a voluntary retirement at 42. Now I can I'm continuing doing what I'm good at. I can coach well, I can motivate well, I have I can do fairly well with my communication skills. I love motorcycling because that's my form of meditation. And rock singing is part of performance. Uh, of rock singing is also nothing but verbal and non-mobile communication. So I continue that.

SPEAKER_00 16:55

So wow! So what a journey, yeah. An entire book shortened into a couple of minutes. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 17:04

I'm beginning to think, yes, this is actually going to, you know, a milestone podcast. Wow, wow, wow, what a journey! Thank you, thank you so much. Many people would, I would say, because the young listeners, a lot to learn from this. Follow your heart.

SPEAKER_01 17:22

Right, follow your heart in the sense, follow it intelligently. Yes, yes, follow it intelligently. Do your research, just don't bear what, for example, don't try to become a musician just because your friend is also a musician. Right.

unknown 17:40

Right.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

Find out whether you have it in you, how good you are, find out whether there's a market for it, and keep doing, you know. My point, couple G is education is very, very important. Very important. It's very important. During the phase of being a student, education life may up education go back seat, nahi they succored if you if you don't have education in your hand. That goes without saying. Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_02 18:09

See, and as now you are a communications coach. So, and what we can see, visualize, we can listen to you, how effective you are. So, why is effective communication so crucial in both personal and professional aspects of life? Because communication not only uh helps in your profession but also in our relationships in our day-to-day life. So, why do you think it's so crucial?

SPEAKER_01 18:44

Ah, what a question, what a question, Kapilji. Kapilji, now do you are you ready to get your mind blown? Are you ready to get your mind blown? I'm gonna share a nugget which very few people are aware of. Though we are going to have maybe a 40 or a 50 or a 60-minute conversation, you and I, right now, in the through the podcast, believe it or not, only seven percent of the entire communication of one hour is verbal would be the words we use. 93% of the communication would be the non-verbal. The way we make eye contact with each other, the way my voice, my intonation of my voice, intonation of your voice, the way we are using our hand gestures to express a thought, the way we talk, and all these things. This is the majority of it. So a lot of people think that communication skills equals words only. That mindset has to change, and that mindset shift takes a little time, but it's possible, it can be done, it can be done, however, to a trained eye, imagine, sir, if you are able to, for example, if you're sitting making a sales negotiation, if what if if you had the superpowers of observing that person during the 30 minutes of sales negotiation meeting, and whatever that person speaks to you, that you do understand. But if you have the ability to also make observations of his body language, micro expressions of his facial expression, his hands, his you know, uh the way he's talking, his shoulders, whether if he's coming in front and talking, if he's going back at certain points and talking, everything communicates. So the rule number one would be to consider communication as a vast subject like any other subject. It's it's it's a like it's it's a universe, or it's it's like a huge country. And spoken English or written English is just one aspect of it. Simply, that means, Kapalji, it's not just my spoken ability or my language ability, my grammar ability, my pronunciation or enunciation ability needs to be good. That needs to be good. Parallelly, it would be better if all of us also are aware and practice nonverbal communication in our lives. Very important, small, small things. For example, in for example, sir, I'll tell you a short story. One of my ex students, I I I owe I'm a visiting faculty in Symbiosis College of Liberal Arts in Pune. So one of my MA students, who recently it happened, Kapulji, just a couple of weeks ago, she called me and she told me, Yudi, sir, I need your help. I said, What happened, Bita? She said, uh, Yudi, sir, do you are you aware of any time management courses? I said, What do you mean, time management? Why do you need time management? Then I gave her a link and I spoke to her for a good 45 minutes. I probed her because I know my students. I probed her, and she's from an environment where I taught in live sessions. So I know the student much better than just an online session. Classroom. So then I found out what the problem was. It wasn't she didn't need to learn time management, sir. She her problem was handling rejection. Okay. And when the word rejection comes in our mind, it's it's we always think someone else rejecting me. We are bad at handling that. No, it's also the other way around. I also have a problem rejecting. I don't know how to reject. Meaning, this young lady had taken, for example, from manager A, she's taken a task. Manager B also came, gave her another task, but she then she started struggling with two deadlines to be met the same way. Then this kid is the manager told her, Well, you need to manage your time. This kid is now. So if the person knows effective communication, I even gave her the sentences to talk to her. The way to handle it, when Mr. B gives you the task, rule number one, usually hamarakya. These are the non-verbal couples you're usually thinking. Okay, sir. We might even take a deep breath. Then if you say yes to that, that will continue. Then manager C will come and oh, this child keeps on getting the job done. Manager A ka biker tea be can, then manager C will also come and give the so this she will burn out. So you need to have that confidence and use the correct words which ooze politeness and professionalism. Mr. Manager B, uh, I would be very happy to assist you with that, sir. I've loved doing these tasks, and I'm very fortunate to get that opportunity from you. However, I'm already handling Manager A's task right now, and the deadline is 4 p.m. Would you be kind enough to talk to him first? If he says, okay, then I'll take your task. See the difference? Now she's she is pinged me. She said, You did, sir, it's working. It's working. So if you if you know effective communication skills, you can use a lot of empathy. You can use a lot of act, you can use empathy, you can use active listening, repo building without offending other person, you can you can draw a boundary. Right without offending people. Yes. Why young people don't get to are incapable of doing that because they are not trained to do that. Training Miljay. And that's exactly what I cover in my coaches, sir. All my coaching courses, I cover verbal and non-verbal communication. I am the complete communicator at your service.

SPEAKER_02 25:29

Yes, yes. That's definitely on the show.

SPEAKER_00 25:33

Yes, sir. Thank you. Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_02 25:35

Okay, moving forward. Uh, you in fact already uh shared an example with us. Uh-huh. Uh but so what are some like common communication challenges that individuals face, and how can we actually overcome them?

SPEAKER_01 25:56

Okay. So the majority of now, there are two kinds of communication challenges which the world at least, or let allow me to use the word, the uh job market, job aspirants, that market or that target audience looks at barriers of communication in two forms. One of them they are aware of, the other one they aren't they aren't aware of. First, the one which they're aware of is spoken English skills. Yeah, how to confidently speak in English language in order to crack an interview, in order to crack a GD or a group discussion, in order to you know get the job and clear all the levels of interview, all the because majority of time, how to make an impressive presentation using the English language. These are the usual challenges. There is one segment which, and that's what the market is usually aware of. The other part is the nonverbal aspect which they aren't aware of. For example, I'll tell you an example. There are so many cases, I'm sure even you might have come across so many cases that a youngster comes back, sir. My interview went phenomenal. It went off phenomenal, sir, but I don't know why I didn't get the job. Yeah.

unknown 27:27

True.

SPEAKER_01 27:29

I'll tell you what, I'll tell you, there could be hundreds of reasons. Out of those hundred reasons, Kapalji, 90 of them would be non-verbal communication mistakes. For example, a youngster, a 19-year-old, 22-year-old youngster, abuse age, okay, maybe and we know it's a very impatient age.

SPEAKER_02 27:50

Right.

SPEAKER_01 27:50

It's a very impatient age. Now, imagine, Kapilji, my interview time given to me is 10 a.m. and I need to go to this corporate setup and wearing my proper clothes, carrying my folder, my resume, and everything. I reach the reception. However, there are other candidates also waiting. So when the waiting game begins, sitting in the corporate sector lobby, 20 minutes maximum, couple G, these youngsters know will sit trim and proper. 20 minutes maximum, 25 minutes. That waiting game puts in laze lethargy. Suddenly their body language will become lazy, they'll start scrolling the phone, they will start behaving as if they are not waiting for an interview, they are waiting on a platform for a train.

SPEAKER_02 28:41

The energy levels begin today.

SPEAKER_01 28:43

Absolutely, and these youngsters don't understand that your interview begins the moment you enter the gate of that company. Not when you enter the uh, you know, the panel, the office, interview, board up and to interview. Interview up gate channels, observe karta hekup. Imagine Usi Watagar interview panel, egg band, uh let's say bio break came out and he just observed or kitne look wait karna. He just observed or muja me as a batang, lazy okay, wait karate. Body language is that person has already made a preconceived notion about this character who's come for an interviewer as a battery. You understand, sir? And y but preconceived notion, I got to pele it smile. Man may he might even use words like we need executives. You know exactly what I mean. And all this happened. The same guy, like in Banda Chao, he must have answered all questions, blah blah blah. Why he failed in his non-verbal, sir. Right. So that is the power, and you know exactly what I'm talking about, and all these things I've observed uh during my 11 years of stint with as a communication uh skills manager with ViproIT. I used to be a part of uh the interview panel during recruitment, so I used to observe, I used to observe, I've made a lot of notes, and uh that's how on the job training of V, isn't Mary V. Isn't it? I I hope I hope this anecdote really helps.

SPEAKER_02 30:44

No, definitely. And by now we have actually begun to understand how important each and every aspect of communication is, and I believe many of our listeners would be introspecting that kahina kahi kabi nakabi unone kyagaltia. But now, you being the communications coach, if I ask you, how do you help people become more confident and articulate speakers and like the dynamo you are yourself?

SPEAKER_00 31:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:17

Oh excuse me. Um uh G, I have uh my methodologies of uh teaching people how to become confident speakers or orators. My techniques are very old school. I don't believe in modern techniques. Why? Because you would be using very primitive things, very old things. You're not using technology. To become a good speaker, you cannot put yourself in a pen drive and enter a computer hard drive and become a software and uh become use AI and present. You can't do that. A human body, a human voice, a person's personality is primitive. The only isn't it? It's primitive, sir. It's as old as the dinosaur. Darwin, as per Darwin's theory, uh Bandar se manov bane. We haven't become computerized androids, or Ada AI sani Insani, so and and and uh the point which I see, Couple G is I see a lot of these youngsters and even nurse, people at senior levels, it's not knowledge. They are so brilliant. Now, this I love this generation, this digital era generation. They are so brilliant, Couple G the youth of today, especially. I'm very impressed with them and so much immense knowledge. But when I see them struggling to make eye contact and open their mouth and confidently their incapability to share that knowledge they have, it breaks my heart. It really breaks my heart. It's a knowledge, it's immense, but they are hundred times more intelligent than I am or I was, and I'm so impressed by them. They are the torch bearers, you youngsters listening, you're the torchbearers. I'm not gonna be there forever. However, you guys are the torchbearers, you guys have to carry the torch of enthusiasm, of confidence, of charisma, everything. So use the technology and learn from people who have the experience, who have the experience of looking into someone's eyes confidently and sharing knowledge, of course, isn't it, sir? Definitely these these youngsters need to learn that individually they are a brand, sir. Kapal Gupta is a brand. Uh is a brand. So, how I teach them, what I teach them is to develop a switch. I don't teach them to speak English, I teach them to create a character of themselves who speaks English. So, whenever they need to speak English, they need to get into the skin of that character. Another thing is because there are a lot of introvert people, everybody, I do not expect them to be shamelessly extrovert like I am. No, I don't. It's not even advisable. However, even if you're a shy person and introvert, listeners, please listen to this very carefully. You can develop a switch in your mind when you need to get the job done, switch on the extrovert. Bring out that confident talk, interact, make deals, close deals once the job is done, come switch off that extrovert, come back to being the introvert con Manakara. Nobody's asking you to change yourself, isn't it, Couple G?

SPEAKER_02 35:18

Yeah, but then there's no denying the fact that this is a world of digital communication, right? Absolutely. So, how can individuals maintain that authentic and meaningful connections?

SPEAKER_01 35:32

Ah, that's very true. That's very true. Uh, in the digital era, uh, Couple G, what um I I I love, I'm I'm a huge fan of the digital era, first of all. Uh, it saves a lot of time, uh, though, because even if digital era, uh the only drawback which was looked upon as a drawback is actual human in-person interactions reduced drastically. Once the uh you know, internet boomed, and uh uh you know, you can see you can have a Skype call, you can make a WhatsApp video call and things like that. So interaction reduced, live interactions. So we do not in a video screen when we communicate, what happens is it becomes more important to take care of the way we speak. It's not what you say, it's always how you say it. How you say it, are you using the right body language? If Kapal G is my manager, he's talking to me. I should, while he's talking to me, I should not be fidgeting here and there, I should be wearing a phone, I should be presentable. Right. Small, small things are important. And please, I think the the world, there's no, you know, sir uh Kapal G, when you and I were students, that time, I'm sure even you might have heard heard of this dialogue. Son, there is no escape from computers, computer courses, karma shiru karu. I remember when I was in 12th standard, but what I say is there are there is no escape from audio visual medium to communicate. Right, right. Fully agree. Yes. So you so you need to learn the right etiquette to follow when you use video calls, audio video uh communication uh you know ways, you need to follow an etiquette there too. Just like how you would do when you come for a job interview and you'll wear formals and you'll make sure your shoes are polished and you've shaved and blah, blah, blah, blah. You'll be trimming proper. So that goes for a digital essence as well.

SPEAKER_02 37:52

But then I fully agree. See, verbal communication is one aspect. Then, as you rightly said, when we are observing things, actually, we are listening. I would say that we are listening to the other person the way he's managing or conducting himself. But apart from that, uh, we cannot uh be uh discount the fact that written communication is equally important. What you can uh you know throw light on some strategies for effectively conveying emotions and intent in written communication, especially like in text messages and emails, because they are uh doing the round all the time.

SPEAKER_01 38:39

Absolutely, absolutely. Thank you for asking, thank you for asking a question on let's get into written communication. Fantastic question. I love this question. Now, just like verbal and non-verbal communication, written communication also comes under the verbal communication umbrella. Now, when it comes to when we speak, how pronunciation and uh you know pausing in sentences, intonation, and pace of your speech is important. Similarly, when you in your written communication, and English happens to be the global language of written communication, especially in a formal or a corporate scenario, so it's imperative to follow certain rules. So, rules just like something called email etiquette, chat etiquette. Now, what I mean is for example, um, you know, happy birthday, happy birthday, HBD short forms which we use. An example using emojis, ah, birthday, ah yeah, all those emojis and what we use that can be used in written communication, however, only in informal scenarios, Matthew cannot use mothkaro. Karo, definitely caro. However, no emojis, nothing should be entertained in formal emails, in chats, formal chats. You know why, sir, and the choice of words need to you need to be very careful in corporate official emails. Do you know? Ask me, ask me couple G why. Ask me couple G why why because an official email can be used as evidence in the court of law.

SPEAKER_02 40:41

Oh that never thought of it.

SPEAKER_01 40:44

Exactly, sir Balbon Momente. Any email or a chat, official chat message, if something goes wrong in the near future, it can be used as evidence in court of law. And imagine Kudana Kasta, suppose one of my emails goes there and I've used frivolous language, the chances of me losing the case would be higher.

SPEAKER_02 41:11

Right.

SPEAKER_01 41:12

If I've used because lawyers know the art of twisting words based on one single wrong word, he will okay spalad degapte. You know that all these things happen. So that's why business writing skills is another thing which I separately is which is included in my course in my level two course, where I cover, I cover English grammar. And believe me, Kapalji, when I say when we people think of grammar, people imagine it like a huge pahardi tenses a present tense, fast tense, hey, ram ram, ram. That's exactly that is the kind of mentality I help people to break away from.

SPEAKER_02 41:59

Sir, I've met students English paranikisiko niye, ati kisiko niye. But ek hey, ek perception, hame ati.

SPEAKER_01 42:12

Sir, I'll I'll tell you, I'll tell you this trick, this is another tip. Understood that most of the students get scared of tenses in English. English language, tenses. There are 12 tenses in an English language, but believe it or not, in everyday conversation, formal and informal conversation, you'll be surprised we hardly use six tenses, not twelve. So the point is that we have to do that. So exactly, bulbon movements and logon ko kudpe barosa dilata hunki English is no no big deal. So there are you know tricks to look at a pahar. Don't make a you know you know, mountain foul to me, it's just a mole. And there are there are techniques, there are ways to go around it and learn. And believe me, Kapilji, I'm not a grammarian and I don't claim to be one, and I don't train people to become grammarians. I teach something called functional English. English. Right, got it. Functional English, which does not get me into trouble, it gets my job done, and I'm so good at it, I also get accolades for it.

SPEAKER_02 43:38

I'm sure even people have, you know, the listeners begin to feel the same. And no wonder that you are a super speaker to winner. So congratulations once again. Thank you. Very kind of now. Coming to that, if I ask you what's the Key to delivering a powerful and memorable speech because nowadays public speaking in corporate everything has become very very common, and it's like the much needed capability uh quality of a person.

SPEAKER_01 44:16

So, how do we deal with that? Um, you mean how to uh become a uh better presenter or a better public speaker? Yes, yes. Okay, now every thumb has a print on it, right? And it is a well-known fact that none of our prints can be the same. Yes, Ude Ayah's thumbprint only Ude Ayar can have, couple Gupta's thumbprint, only couple gupta can have. Another example from the wildlife is tigers. Every tiger has different stripes, one tiger and the other tiger, it's impossible, they cannot have the same stripes. Similarly, Couple G, in order to become a confident speaker, it depends what are the strengths and the areas of improvement. I do I hate the word weakness, sir. Because that is that's a trigger word. If my student is already demotivated and low in confidence, then if I use negative words, subconscious. So I never use the word, I always say strengths and room for improvement. I never say weakness. So I so when I say I make an analysis with every person, so every speaker or an aspiring speaker will have different kinds of strengths and different kinds of rooms for improvement. Some could be good articulators, but very bad with body language, some might have the confidence in the body language, however, the verbal communication would need work, will be a room of improvement. So it depends. Some somebody's spoken English, or some people have never had an exposure, some people are stage fright. A lot of people's main issues: stage fright, butterfly, shivering, how to control that. These are all chemical reactions happening in the body. So how to so a lot of people. So in my training sessions, I individually get into the psych of that person. I probe so well, and I make them share with me even instances from their childhood which could be related to confidence issues while talking to people or while facing. My you know, my when my I start my courses, my first question uh in my when I do my public uh speaking courses, my first question to the student is your education, did it happen in co-ed or boys and girls' school? First question. Okay, you understand where I'm coming from and where I'm going, where I'm going. Right. The bandajosura boys' school me he paraho that bandav will have more stage fright, more public-facing uh anxiousness compared to someone who studied in a co ed. Because the subconscious is used to seeing different genders around them, different, but boys are bandhe bande bande bandages. So art salagar but boys school me prahuga. So it's expected. For example, char ladies, katraga, boh, college ponchine take care of the college. Third year becomes a first year master's. Some people carry it till their lives. Right.com me, no salta bitagne or abitak never and the story can go on. What the e example? So other examples are you you maybe. So I go to the crux of a student's uh issue, then I decide a plan of action for that particular student which will suit his particular room for improvement. So customized solution, absolutely, sir. End-to-end solution, customized solution. Because it's it's a spoken language, sir. It's communication, it's not like playing the guitar or a keyboard. You're using a piece of muscle which is in this form, your vocal cords. People with thick voices, like Kapal Gupta and another uh Balbon movement, have very thin vocal cords. People with very thin voices have very thick vocal cords. So you need to, so it's it's it's an it's a piece of muscle, you need to take care of it. Similarly, you need to you need to be fit, you need to take care of your health. Very important. Some basic 15-20 minutes of some kind of a body exercise, a speaker must do. You have to follow rules. All that because while imagine while presenting, you get a burp. It happens, it happens. So there are so discipline to be a good speaker, to be bring out that confidence. You do that presentation, give, win that presentation, win everybody's heart, celebrate after that. No, well-deserved celebration. Have a drink after that, why not? But not before when you're preparing for a presentation. Isn't it? And uh, so little discipline on a jeser, and so that's how I customize and tailor need accordingly for most of my public speaking students. So that's how so mindset shifts and some unique exercises which I help them to get articulation exercises. Because, for example, um people from north make consonant sound errors, it's called sh and sir swap errors. For example, they would say asok. They would they might not be ashok nibuling or school, school, is cool. Right, is school, then uh pleasure new pleasure, pleasure, measure or major sub each. Subdi just pleasure, major, major sub, major sub, major, major sub. So, however, if you're talking in English, how to correct these sounds? Certain sounds are fatal. Some people have a lisp, but sound slip. Uh, my success story, success success story. So these kind of small things also hinder a person's confidence immensely. So, how to overcome that? I know techniques and I uh help people with those techniques and make them practice and uh get out of and uh surprise themselves. My god, I never knew that it's confidence.

SPEAKER_02 52:00

But communication to harjage communication parents, communication, friends. And if we don't do that in the right way, misunderstandings are bound to come, right? And I believe nowadays many times couples that is also a result of miscommunication. So, how can these people uh improve their communication to actually build stronger relationships?

SPEAKER_01 52:39

Very, very well said, sir. Very well said. Um, there is a topic um by a very famed uh psychologist, uh called his name was Eric Byrne, and Eric Byrne's philosophy of the pack model, there's something called a pack model, which I teach in my non-verbal verbal communication course. So, in a gist, I'm not going to get into the concepts, but in a gist, just let me tell you, if there will be a time in point I where you have to ask a question to yourself. What is more important? Whether Kapil is right and I'm wrong, whether I'm right and couple is wrong, or my relationship is more important. If you like that person, for another example, my mother, sir. My mom is a traditional South Indian, very old-fashioned lady. So in my 20s, I used to antagonize, I used to back answer to my mother. When I think of it now. So, and now she's alone and she's with me. And uh there was a I used to back-answer, I used to get a little irritated. However, now my since 10-15 years, my relationship with my mother is beautiful, touch wood, simply because I chose that my relationship with her is more important than whether I'm right and she's wrong, or whether she's right and I'm wrong. In this case, I'm not sure what I'm saying. So, this is one example, my own example, how I improve my relationship with my old mother. And she's like what, she's 75, she's not going to be there forever. Whatever time she's here, I want to cherish that relationship to the fullest. I don't want to waste my time or blood pressure something. The relationship is more important to me. That's a very very precious advice. Thank you, sir. Emotional, emotional, okay.

SPEAKER_02 55:21

But no problem will exist in any of the relationships, actually.

SPEAKER_01 55:32

Exactly. Because we become we become prey to the game of who's right, I'm right, you are wrong. I'm right, couple, you are wrong. What after that? You are right. So you proved a point. So nicha dhadia. Now what? Age Sergi, it is very important to have effective communication skills in our lives. You know why, couple G? I'm 50 years old, couple Genesis. You never know, Couple G. Life, it's examples which will blow your mind. So that's why I'm always nice and kind with everybody. I never uh use intonation. Uh just because my paralikha, arrogance, tone one up, kabinis. I'm always polite with anybody and everybody, right from a blue collar till the shop floor. I'm I'm polite with everybody. My colleagues and the managers might have forgotten me, but every security guard, every janitor, every sweeper in that Vipuro campus remembers you, sir. I used to ask sweepers. They remember me more than the managers, I'm sure. Oh, sir, these these small things is happening, these things are happiness, sir. People look at happiness as a destination. No, it's a journey. That's my biggest lesson I learned from motorcycling.

SPEAKER_02 57:44

In fact, MBBS Deku. That's correct. But that's what I think.

SPEAKER_01 58:02

Correct, correct. Exactly. Just as Muna Baimeta, it's in Hindi movie commercial aspect. Of course. They will remember, they will remember, and and uh um, especially when working in a corporate uh company, you need to be nice with people. I my growth, my promotions were very fast when I was in Vipro IT. I became a training manager, I had 29 trainers report to me reporting to me, Pan Asia. So when I took a voluntary retirement that time, how I grew up the ladder couple G was purely on my communication skills, not on Excel sheets, not meeting numbers regularly. Sure, numbers, numbers meet up 4.5 million company. Good communication skills is what gets you the promotion. People observe, the the leadership observes. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 59:16

I'll say promotion to bat ki bate, right? I I always say uh to my students keep language is such an important aspect of our lives. Degree, having a degree will only make you eligible to be you know eligible for the interview, right?

unknown 59:34

Correct.

SPEAKER_02 59:39

I'm using such a word, absolutely, sir.

SPEAKER_01 59:41

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 59:47

So you have the job. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 59:50

Communication both verbal and non-both. You know, small, small things. So that's how I uh uh prepare my students for interviews, uh majorly. Um, one for one small example, but I tell my students, have you uh got your clothes ready for your interview? Yes, sir, got a new pair of shoes, got a new pair of shoes, got a new pair of trousers and shirt. You will not wear it for the first time on the day of the interview. What if that shoe gives you discomfort? That will show in your non-verbals, non-verbal while answering a question. Subconsciously, you have to go, and trying to give the discomfort. Your chances of winning someone's heart or influencing them, everything will go down the drain. Why? Just because of one pair of shoes. It's not important, non-verbal communication, sir. It's not important. So interview at least char char ghante they could break into those shoes first. Perfect, sir. We cannot leave any stones unturned.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:30

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:30

As it is a stupid reason, your job namely.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:41

Now, coming to your other love, long distance biking, right? And we know that it involves both physical endurance and mental strength also, because you go for like 2,000 kilometers, 3,000 kilometers, right? Now, how does this experience of yours relate to the importance of perseverance and communication in life?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:09

Ah, very, very good question, sir. Now, um Sir, it's it's actually it's it's become a cliche now, however, it's an evergreen uh thing for me. What happens is Kabulji, at least let me talk about myself. At this age, where I'm throughout my journey, my professional journey, I'm uh I'm sort of I'm not in a condition where I need to make my ends meet. I'm slightly better financially and things like that, obviously at this age. So what happens is a comfortable life soaks you into various kinds of comfort zones, immerses you without you knowing it. And anything, anything, for example, the best thing is if you want to learn something new, anything you have to get out of your comfort zone, and getting out of comfort zone to achieve small goals, Kapalji, needs to be a habit. It cannot just happen just because I have a task. It's like studying, it's like studying for an exam, students. Human brains are not made like that. Concentration has to be a habit. One hour of concentrated studies for 30 days, then from the next set of 30 days, one and a half hours of concentration study. Ada aha ganta practice karna parta hai insanko concentration. Concentration, as any parta, sir. Concentration needs to be a habit, it needs to be practiced. Right. Similarly, getting out of the comfort zone also needs to be a practice, sir, because we are human beings. Once we become comfortable, non-verbals may battamisi yajati, sir. Body language may sub batamiziya jati. Or when we are communicating and interacting at professional levels and things like that. So through motorcycling, number one, I love to ride motorcycles. Number two, it at least once in three months I do a long ride of minimum three to four thousand kilometers both ways. Where I get I get out of my comfort zone. Because uh it's it's unsafe for me. Or they said one dera yota. So mazabiniya. So and the sunset on Jihabi Yota. Suppose if I don't reach a decent city or a town where I can book a hotel, monasteries, I carry a sleeping bag with me, churas to camping. Out of the comfort zone, kud maggi banake kaya hai. And I know the basics of my motorcycle very well. And working on my motor, a clutch wire be to the mechanical need. Mechanical engineering be? Because I do it alone. Right. What I can I don't I can't afford to get stranded in the middle of nowhere, hundreds of kilometers, nothing, hundreds of kilometers, nothing. How to cope up as a situation we all those situations have made me a stronger person and given me more confidence. So every time I get out of the comfort zone, I get recharged. Then third reason ashram severe because to be sure, up up it's uh I mean it's a negative point just any care. However, grhast ashram can be exhausting. It can be exhausting. You know, it's right. That's why, and it's not only for me, it can be exhausting for my darling wife. Her name is Shweta, her too. So I take a break, then I let her. I mean, she decides, she goes out with her friends for two, three days, she'll take a break. Effective communication happening between her husband. Just because of nonsense, you know, I'm the earner. I don't belong to such so there are a lot of disciplines and principles which my grandfather had taught my father and which came to me from my father. There are a lot of them which I'm very proud of, and I implement. And there are certain old conditionings which I don't follow anymore. Example, being a father, I have two sons. I don't give them advice. I've stopped giving advice. Advice my wife gives, my mother-in-law gives, my dedi gives, my mom gives. I'm an active listener with my kids. When my kids come to me, if he comes to me and tells me, and he cheese batay, right. So non-verbs, uh-huh. I keep my phone, I make eye contact with my children and I use active listening skills. And they get so involved, I make good eye contact with them without no distraction, no barriers in communication. I listen to them actively.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:40

Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:42

So communication is not just talking, listening skills, sir. So listening skills, active listening skills can do magic. So motorcycling helps me get out of my comfort zone and get recharged. And um, though I'm not a very religious person, sir. Uh however, I love the Sanskrit language and uh I do perform ceremonies at home, which for because my mother loves it, I do I'll do anything for mother and advantage, sir. Mother nature, I'm a huge nature lover, sir. Just park the motorcycle somewhere at a cliff. But as he sham could just you're all alone, remove the helmet, you sit there, nothing, laptop, bite me, but loaded hot, laptop, hotel room, calling a laptop, wifi but mountain peruke is it's happened to me near. Uh I think I was uh uh my Zodzilla cross karukata to phone one of my students. Those days I used to teach GMAT uh verbal reasoning. Okay, you did sir, I got through Massachusetts University or dad mom ko patani sepeley upko phone karna. Wow, feet asunik.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:10

That is a job satisfaction. That's why I love my words. I love my words.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:15

Definitely. This podcast was supposed to be like a simple communication podcast. Like in your life skills, communication skills, relationships, sub kuchumila. Thanks to you, thanks to you. Thank you, thank you very much. And in the end, if I ask you as a customer teen S bate like to how the younger generation should begin or pay attention to to improve their communication skills.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:48

Absolutely fantastic. Three, I'll give you three, sir. Rule number one, you have to, everyone, rule number one, the three takeaways from our session, you can, or the three the best tips I can share with anyone to improve their communication skills in order to improve their lives, professional as well as personal lives, are the three are rule number one: you have to accept that you are an individual who is unique. There is no one else like you. What you can do, someone else can't. At the same time, what someone else can do, maybe you can't. However, but whatever you can do, you are unique. You have to accept that. Rule number two: do not fall prey to the comparison game. The comparison game, example. Oh, someone else is doing this better than me. I wish I had the resources like that person, only even then, even I can achieve what that person is achieving. No, accept, be happy with whatever resources you have and work with it. Don't fall for that comparison game. That falling for that comparison game will not only demotivate you, it will get you into the procrastination trap. You will never, you'll only think about the dream, you'll never work towards it. So don't fall into the comparison trap. First is you're unique, don't fall into the uh you know, comparison trap. Rule number three big takeaway. Nobody's perfect couple G. Sabke dart, subke say perfect nayote chere uh uh. Sub everybody, no they get paid to look beautiful. As a perfect dot sort of clue, close up or cold gate key ad me ate, sir. Real life. Reality won't see reality me, hum Ahmad me. Up up shad braces pente okay. Yeah, upka ek dant shad teda hoga. Uske karan, you don't smile. You stop smiling. Aka Sharamatia man, me, nehasuar mira, dan dikta, harmar dikega to my heart with please accept your imperfections as they are, because that's what makes you what you are. That is you, that's your originality. That's what makes you unique to start with. Accept your imperfections. Come on. Lokya kaenge, are jo kange, unme utni himmatini up me, tabi, ap Iho public speaking me. Tabi, you have the courage to take the decision to become a speaker, face the world. You have more courage. Never forget that. Rule number one, you are unique. Rule number two, don't fall prey to the comparison game. And rule number three, accept your imperfections wholeheartedly, because that's what makes you who you truly are.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:57

Wow, wow, thank you, Yodi, for saying all. Thank you. That's a learning even for me. And as you know, uh, whenever I end my podcast, I usually say, uh, tell the students to listeners, because I usually assume that the students are listening to me, uh-huh that their dreams are like worth pursuing, right? And of course, the future is worth investing in. And today they'll definitely have got that inside that communication is one skill that can be learned, and UD is the person to whom it should be learned from. Yeah absolutely. As a gift, I would request you to please share your you know connection link. I'll share it with my students, with my listeners, so that they can reach out to you and you know get help and get bigger, better in communication, as in their personal lives as well. Right. And as I always say, the Kapel Gupta Career Pod Show is here to light up their path, to empower them, to help them reach new heights, and to inspire them to dream big. So thank you, Yudi, once again, and we would definitely, you know, want to talk more and more, and I would definitely want you to be my guest sometime again because now we have some time constraints also. So, but then thank you once again, and until our next episode, for all listeners, keep exploring, keep growing, and keep empowering your future.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:42

Thank you very much, Kapaldi. Thank you very much, everybody. Keep going, keep inspiring, long little rock and roll, and don't do anything that I wouldn't. I love you all.