SPEAKER_00 0:00

Step into a world of discovery and transformation as we dive deep into the captivating realm of culture. In our thought-provoking podcast, we unravel the emotional tapestry experienced by individuals encountering new cultures. From the initial awe to the bewildering challenges, we explore the highs and lows, the joy and frustration, and the personal growth that emerges from this extraordinary journey. Join us as we hear first-hand stories of resilience, adaptation, and profound connections formed amidst the unknown. Get ready to be moved, inspired, and enlightened as we navigate the intricate path of culture shock together. Welcome to this podcast that will change the way you perceive the world. I have invited a very special guest to this podcast, and you love to listen to her as this one is going to be really interesting and full of value. So please bring in your pen and paper and note down all the knowledge. Until then, I shall wait for you. So today I have you know invited a very close friend of mine, this is Pooja Gupta, who, after completing her BTEC in biotechnology from Heritage Institute of Technology in Kolkata, went to Iowa State University to pursue a PhD in genetics. That is in 2009. She graduated in 2014 and started working as a scientist in a small startup in Bangalore. After coming back to the US, worked as a postdoctoral associate at University of Kansas Medical Center and from here joined Colgate Palmolev as a senior scientist. She left her job in August 2022 to take a parental break to raise her 13th month-old, very, very cute and lovely daughter. But yes, she's staying in the US right now and handling this, and she has you know great experience. I thought she will be the right person because she underwent all through this. So let's uh straight away hear from her that what and how she you know uh went about uh doing this. So hi Puja, welcome to the career pod show. Thank you, and uh it's really nice to see you. Uh it seems a very uh breezy uh morning.

SPEAKER_01 3:09

Yeah, it's a nice day for a change in Texas, which is not as cool always.

SPEAKER_00 3:16

Okay, okay. So, see, as I just mentioned that uh I'm discussing about the culture shock. Uh because as Indians, uh let's talk about Indians, what they go through. So, first of all, even before uh talking about the culture shock, I would like to know that why and when did you take this decision that you want to go abroad for your higher studies?

SPEAKER_01 3:45

So uh initially after I joined uh V Tech, my plan was after one year I'm going to switch to computer engineering. And because first year is common for all engineering classes, and I I got a seat in biotechnology, I took it. At that point, I wanted to be in computers, and I thought, okay, one year later, there's an option and I can switch. But before that, I started classes. Before I had the option to switch, my classes started, and I just fell in love with the subject. And you know, it was just amazing. Like I had never learned anything like that. Genetics really, really like was something which I had not even known. Like it has such a big realm of knowledge and you know, things like beyond your imagination. It was beautiful, the biology of it. And then just, you know, when you think about, okay, this is I know this is what I want to do, but what next? Because as typically in engineering colleges, that time, you know, this is I joined engineering college in 2004, everybody got placed, no matter what stream, branch, whatever, wherever you came from, you got placed either in Vipro or TCS. That was the norm. And I just didn't see myself doing that for the rest of my life. Like I really, really wanted to study biology. And there was no at that time, I think now India's advanced quite a bit on that front, but at that time there was nothing, like nothing for any biotechnology engineering student to get into as a fresh graduate. So after, and you know, seniors in college, there were quite a few who went abroad. There were quite a few professors who had studied in abroad, they had like after a while come came back and were teaching, you know, in our colleges. So just talking to everybody, I realized that there is a much broader scope of my subject. There's much more because biological research asks for a lot of money, which is definitely abundant in countries like the US, and they have a very heavy focus on research. So that is how I decided. Uh, initially, I wanted to do master's. I didn't think I was ready for a PhD at that moment. I thought it was a big commitment. But eventually uh I applied to universities, and I was it was one university whose coordinator actually said, like, why do you want to do a master's? Your profile is eligible for a PhD, so why don't you give it a thought? So I took one year, I joined uh college uh as an intern, I did some research, I gained experience, and then I realized that okay, this is exactly what I want to do, and I really love it, and I accepted the offer from Iowa State University to pursue my PhD.

SPEAKER_00 6:40

Okay, so I can say that initially it wasn't a conscious decision, but you kind of went with the flow, you did your research, talked to your professors, etc. And that led you to take this decision, right?

SPEAKER_01 6:57

Right. If you are like if you if you were in computer engineering or something, you probably I wouldn't have like thought about coming abroad because I know there's a lot of scope in India already. I don't have to think about it. But it was just my passion for my subject. Ideally did not want to switch careers at that point and go completely into programming and stuff like that. Was the only job available for any engineer at that time. So uh this is this was where life was taking me, and that was it.

SPEAKER_00 7:26

So because uh even uh during those days, we can say that there was too much of uh you had too many students switching to uh computer engineering, so yeah, just because of that, you had that inclination, okay, let me also try my hand there. But in the process or in the meantime, you fell in love with the subject and you realize okay, this is your niche. Yes, okay, great.

SPEAKER_02 7:52

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 7:52

So uh now coming uh to the uh next question with that, because let's say when you finally decided that okay, you want to go abroad, so what was the feeling like at home, or what was your psychological preparation? Were your parents immediately they gave a goad, okay, go, you can you know, live your life, Simran? That kind, or there was some, you know, you can say thora sa usha, right? Some opposition.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

So the whole process is a long process, so it was not like one sudden day I'm saying that I'm going, but um thankfully my parents were quite supportive, and I think more so because it was more of my mom's support, my dad would still be hesitant. Uh, he was not sure about sending me a loan somewhere. I had never lived anywhere else except home.

SPEAKER_00 8:52

I'll say that is even today because fathers are more protective of their daughters, huh? That's the same story.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

So mom was, but mom always like she always used to tell me that she really wanted to study uh growing up, but she was not allowed. She was married off early, and this was like she has been telling me this from like when I was little that you know I couldn't study, but I want my daughter to study as much as she wants to study.

SPEAKER_02 9:20

Right.

SPEAKER_01 9:21

So it was mostly always my mom who was like, Yes, you do whatever you want to do, and I'm right behind you, and I'll support you in any way. Because, you know, I was from a middle-class family, college applications, just sending the applications off everything is a damn expensive process. It was um, it was a lot of, I remember we didn't have any credit cards, and I had to pay all the fees, uh, application fees online. So I had to ask a lot of people, somebody helped me with their credit card. So it was a lot of cumulative effort as well. But um, my parents were quite supportive. Of course, it took a little bit of convincing for my dad, but overall, I didn't face a lot of um restrictions from them or anything. They believed in me. So I think in that helps a lot.

SPEAKER_00 10:13

And uh did you do the whole process yourself or you took the help of some consultant or so?

SPEAKER_01 10:21

No, I did the whole process myself. I don't even think at that point there was anything like that. I would have really, really appreciated if there was somebody who could have guided me, you know, helped me. Because looking back, I did, you know, apply to some colleges which I shouldn't have applied to, and you know, just wasted money that way. So it could have saved me a lot of money. Um, it could have saved me a lot of, like if somebody had told me that, you know, what a difference between master's and PhD would be, I might have just applied for PhD and I might have gotten in a year earlier than a year later. So I really wish there was some kind of counseling like you are doing right now for me at that point.

SPEAKER_00 11:04

Great, great. And what kind of like psychological preparation you did for yourself, preparing mentally that okay, now you are taking this step, going all alone.

SPEAKER_01 11:17

Um looking back, I think at that time you're so young, you're just so excited about the whole thing that you are not thinking a lot about you know what you are leaving behind and things like that. At that time, you are in too much into that zone of you know, you have you now have admission and now you have to get your visa. And you know, there are students you connect with on the university and they'll send you a list. Oh, you need to get these things, you need to buy these things. So I think at that time it's a lot of excitement which covers your you know, fears inside that you might have. Right. So um definitely it's it's difficult. You look back into that house and you think, okay, this is probably I'm never coming back, like to live, live here again. You know, it's like a bye forever kind of a thing. You know, there are so many friends you will never be able to talk to again. At that point, there was no WhatsApp or you know, anything of that sort. So it was not as easy as now to keep uh connections alive. So it was it was difficult, but I'd say excitement masks over this. But you would see your you know your parents are sad because they realize it more than you that you are going to leave, and those moments are really tough.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

So, did you have any contacts? Because you did not take anybody's help, so you were doing all by yourself. So, when you finally landed in the US, so did you have any contacts earlier? They here somebody waiting for you to help you out. So, how did you manage everything?

SPEAKER_01 12:52

So, the good thing about here about most universities is like all of universities will have an Indian students association. So, once you get an admit at that time, Orput was the uh platform of Facebook, right?

SPEAKER_02 13:06

Right.

SPEAKER_01 13:06

So they used to have groups like that. So there was an Iowa State group, and there was an Indians at Iowa State group, so you post there and then they will send you, you know, a form, and they used to form a Yahoo group. So these Indian students they formed a committee and they had a very strong responsibility of ensuring that new students coming into that university are well taken care of. They actually arranged uh accommodation for us for initial days so that we can stay with them and we can find, you know, our own apartments. Uh, they helped us, you know, with they let us know how to get your bank accounts done, how to get a phone, you know, all sorts of things. They will feed you for the initial couple of days, right? Because you just don't have anything. So these these students association helped a lot. So that was we had an nice Indian Students Association, and they're like two specifically appointed, uh, it's called new students coordinators. So you can bug them with any questions, anything. They have like formats ready, they have a questionnaire, FAQs, uh things ready. So, you know, it's it's really helpful. People ask all sorts of questions. I probably asked lots of lots of stupid questions, but they are very patient and they answer all your questions. So this was nice because after I joined Iowa State University, I joined ISU and I became a new student's uh coordinator for the next year because I really love that idea of how helpful they were. Because, you know, even for the parents, knowing that you know there is this community who is ready to help, like you're just not going, landing on the airport, and then you don't know where to go. They are bringing you from the airport, they're bringing you into their homes, they are giving you food, they are letting you know how things are, they're making you help that transition. So it was really nice that way.

SPEAKER_00 14:58

Great, great. So kind of this helped you initially, right? And it helped you with all the basic formalities. But if I ask you how your life changed there, was everything as per your expectations, better or worse?

SPEAKER_01 15:18

Life completely changed because uh living in India, living with your parents, you are quite privileged. We do not appreciate that, we do not understand that when we are there. We think, oh, we have to ask permission, we have so much restrictions. We fail to see the privilege we have. I always tell that over here that you have no idea how privileged you are. Like when I talk to American people who have lived here, they they feel jealous about how privileged our lives have been. So, you know, that way life was a complete change. You are completely on your own. You know, there is no mom telling you to wake up, it's time for school or college, you know. It is your responsibility to go to bed on time, to wake up on time. You have to prepare your own breakfast, you have to prepare your own lunch, you know. You go, you come back, you are responsible for cleaning your lunch boxes, making dinner, cleaning your house, every single thing, every single thing is your responsibility. And then you are on limited funds, so you have to be extremely careful. Laundry, you have to use money to do wash your laundry, dry your clothes. So you can't just take your clothes every day to the laundromat to clean it. So you have to be, you know, you think things like that, where in India, yeah, everyday clothes get washed. Not here. You accumulate them for a week and then you go and clean them on the weekend because you know that too being washed by mom. Yeah, yeah. So everything you have to do by yourself, you know, going, getting a phone, setting up your bank accounts, everything is on you. It's your completely your responsibility. There is nobody looking out for you over there. So it is definitely a complete, complete change from what it is over here. Plus, there are no shortcuts. It's not like, hey, I'll pay you 100, just do this faster. No, everything has to be by the book, everything is in order. There is no chugard like we have in.

SPEAKER_02 17:25

Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

You have to learn those things, like there's no shortcuts over here. You have to go by the book, you have to do everything by the rule.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

And uh as in India we say that like apart from doing laundry, right? Cooking is one task, right? So, did you know cooking beforehand? Uh or you so how did you manage?

SPEAKER_01 17:49

It was it was quite like it was quite an evolution. Like sometimes now when I like whip up a meal in you know 10 minutes because my toddler is awake and asking for food. I think back to my days where my mom taught me the basics, you know, but at that time you're like, yeah, you're like, yeah, I'll manage, you know, you don't really think so much into it. And we came here and it was me and my roommate, and we were both the same way, you know, hardly knew any cooking. So cooking initially used to be like we had no idea how to make stuff, and just going to the grocery store is pretty daunting because there are like you know, five different types of potatoes, different types of tomatoes, there are like ten different types of apples. You have you are like, what is all of this, you know, and the size of each thing. If you ask, hey mom, I want to make curry, and she will be like, Yeah, take two potatoes, but potatoes here are this big.

unknown 18:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 18:47

So things like that, but it it cooking was definitely a learning experience. Uh, initial days, we our cooking was specifically, we used to put, we used to take a big pressure cooker, put rice, dal, veggies, whatever spices we thought should go in there, put water, pressure cook, eat whatever comes out because that's all you get. We were vegetarian, both of us, so it's not like there's abundance of food outside. That's that was another thing. You always think, yeah, I'll find food. But if you're a vegetarian, it's really difficult to find like filling, healthy food. You how much French fries can you eat? So yeah, cooking was something I would highly recommend people to like learn some basics and come because it it takes a toll. And then once in a while you get bored and you're missing your mom's special food, like you want to eat paw bhaji, but you have absolutely no idea how to make it. So, I mean, those kind of things. It was fun also, but it was like those times when you're like, oh man, like, is this life really the one I dreamt of or not?

SPEAKER_00 20:00

It's a lot easier now because thanks to WhatsApp, video conference, thanks to technology, right? So you can interact with your mom immediately and get step-by-step instructions.

SPEAKER_01 20:11

Yeah, right?

SPEAKER_00 20:12

So she can actually watch you cooking.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

So that's why.

SPEAKER_00 20:27

Okay, okay. So okay. Now as you're talking about your uh roommate, right? So was she an Indian or uh belonging to some other Nashari?

SPEAKER_01 20:41

No, she was Indian. That was specifically my choice. Like uh, I think that's how like a lot of people they prefer to have Indian roommates because you have so much in common, and then we we were trying to find people who were like in similar field so that you have like you know a shared interest and you can talk about things and stuff like that. So um, yeah, she was from Delhi and uh she was also doing her PhD in biochemistry, so it was a lot easier for us to tell it.

SPEAKER_00 21:11

Yeah, right. But let's say you might have met some friends or you made some friends who are Indians, but in your university, I believe they'll be students belonging to other nationalities also, and then still the major uh group would be Americans only, right? So if you were how did they you know react with about your presence there? Were you able to make friends with them easily, or there was like, no, we still uh need some time to actually get to know you other people? What was that experience?

SPEAKER_01 21:49

People in general were very friendly. I think it is more of our inhibition. We feel somehow you know, inferior, we feel like you know. Uh what if we say something stupid? What will they think of us? Things like that. So I think people over here were very friendly. They are all in about to help you. Like I was I was stunned because people are so helpful. Like we used to have these small maps and we had to figure out, you know, which direction you're going and what bus to take. There's no Google maps at that time. So the university used to give us like a map of the town. So, you know, if you are just on the road and you're looking into the map, trying to make sense of where you are going, where you have to go, somebody will stop and help you. Like you don't even have to ask for help. Like that was one of the things I was really shocked about, like how helpful people were. So in general, I don't think there was that kind of a like inhibition. I think inhibitions are mostly from my side. I guess I would be like more comfortable around Indians. So I would like to hang out with Indians. Little bit disadvantaged when you're living with them. You have, you know, from the same stream, you are from the same thing. So I had like one guy, his name was Rahul. So he came from India and he was doing PhD in genetics too. So we both came together on the same plane, you know, sitting by side, side by side. So we, it was kind of like you already come together with a friend. So you're navigating those things together, but eventually you branch out, and when you go to, you know, your labs and stuff, then you meet other people and you make friends. And it was, it was not, it was not an issue at that time. It was once I overcame my own inhibitions, I think everything went smoothly. Initially, I know there are sometimes like American English, you can probably still understand, but we had a lot of students from other countries as well, like China, right? And their accent is difficult to understand. I'll tell you a funny story. Uh, when I was starting my lab, first rotation when I was doing a Chinese girl reached out to me. Her name is Yiran, and um she wanted to meet because we were both starting together in the same lab, and she was like, it would be nice if we are friends. Her English at that time was terrible, like she could she could barely speak English, it was really, really bad. We somehow communicated and we managed to meet at an ice cream shop near our house. We went there, we literally we took paper napkins and pen, and we drew and talked to talked to each other because her English was so bad. Like she did speak English, like we still think back upon that time and we laugh about it. Now she's married to an American guy, she speaks impeccable English, and we always think about that time when we, you know, we were drawing stuff and communicating because she was like, Yeah, my English was terrible. I had no idea. But those things, you know, even those things didn't stop us. We had a very good friendship, we have friends to till this day, and it is like just nice. So it's just not about American people or there's just people from so all over the world, right? Like, even we have friends from Pakistan, you know, it's like people you just when you meet them, you're like, hey, they're exactly like us, like there's no difference. So it's beautiful experience when you meet people from all over the country, all over the world, in fact.

SPEAKER_00 25:23

Yes, yes, yes. And like in India, we say uh every day is a festival, right? We have 365 days, we have 365 festivals. You belong to Kolkata, where uh Durga Puja is celebrated like anything, where no place in the world would celebrate Durga Puja like it's done in Bengal, right? So, what was your thing when you were in US? Because you are missing out on everything, right? So you might have been communicating with your family members or any of your friends also that they are celebrating. So, how did you cope up during those times?

SPEAKER_01 26:04

So, the beautiful thing about here is you know, people are here from every place, right? They have created their own versions of all the festivals.

SPEAKER_02 26:16

Okay, good.

SPEAKER_01 26:17

So we had quite a few people from Bengal, and they were they had created a small association, and in whatever day way they could, we celebrated each and every festival. Like obviously, Drutta Puja was not a five-day, you know, pandle hopping experience like you do in Bengal, but it's still one day everybody brings cooks food at home and they bring in right for everybody to eat. So you share food, you know, it's the same laughter, you sit and talk together. So you miss it, but also there are substitutes for it over here. So they have created now, and you know, as that that was back in 2009, 10 when I'm talking about now in bigger cities, they actually have like five or six Durga pujas taking place. So if you want, you can do like you can experience what is called pantle hopping in Calcutta, where you go from one place to another and eat food and you know, mingle with people. So I think that is really, really beautiful. They have managed to create their own versions. It's usually you can't celebrate it on the day because there's no holiday, so but you do it on whatever weekend is after that. So for every festival, Diwali, holy. So it's like now you don't really miss those things because if you want, you can celebrate it over here. We used to play holy in in university, Indian Students Association organized a holy day because it was too cold in March for us, so we waited until like May or June when it was warm enough, and then we celebrated holy, but we did holy, so it was nice.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

What was the reaction of other students?

SPEAKER_01 27:55

Oh, they loved it, they joined on it. They they really, really love the different cultural things that we bring in. Like we used to create have a big event for Diwali, and it was always full, like people, the tickets were always sold out. People love Indian food. There are people they love the culture, they love our clothes. So, and you know, there are people who don't appreciate it in every country, so it's not like that. But overall, I have felt a lot of warmth and a lot of acceptance over here. Great, people are really interested in your culture.

SPEAKER_00 28:33

Wow. So overall it's like initial hiccups, but then the journey became smooth, right?

SPEAKER_02 28:41

Yeah, yeah. You have to adjust to the change, right?

SPEAKER_00 28:44

Right. So you have to be you know forthcoming, right? You have to uh be ready to accept that.

SPEAKER_02 28:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:51

So if I ask you, how much time did you take actually to adjust to this new life?

SPEAKER_01 28:58

Uh probably like six months, definitely. Because, you know, initial one month, everything is just so new. So it is all everything is exciting you, you know, just going to the grocery shop is so much fun because you know, there's huge grocery shops you've never seen before, you know, and things like that. So you are in that mode and you have like a brand new apartment, right? Which is empty, and you need stuff for that apartment. And you know, it's so I think first one is initially is like full excitement, and then it starts so still slowly starts to settle that you know it's all on you, you are all alone, and you know, there are times the time difference also. It's not like you can just call up your parents anytime you want, right? You don't want to call them at 2 a.m., giving them a little tiny heart attack, like why is she calling at 2 a.m. at night, right? So those kind of things, then you know, there's that phase where you're like, What did I do the correct thing? I want to go back, when can I go back? You know, things like that. And then eventually the weather changes, everything, you finish a semester at school, you've kind of gotten the hang of it. So at least six, seven months I would say took me to be like, okay, this is this is my life now. This is how we do things.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

So if I ask you, uh if you could remember one thing, uh basically what I trying to say that you might felt that okay, you are ill-prepared, you should have you know done it before so that you shouldn't have you couldn't have faced any uh issues after coming here. Can you remember any one thing?

SPEAKER_01 30:43

Uh definitely cooking because that because it's it's food, you have to eat three times a day, right? I wish I had broadened my horizon a little bit. At that time, you are very apprehensive of trying new things, also. Till this day, I am a pure vegetarian, which a lot of people find shocking because it's like, what do you eat? Like a lot of my non-Indian friends would be like, You're a vegetarian, what do you eat all day? Like they found it really, really surprising. But I I would say cooking specifically, I would think that was something, and then cleaning too, you know. We are so used to having helps around the house that you're not doing a lot of those things by yourself every single day. And those things are not fun. You don't who likes to wash dishes? Nobody likes to wash dishes.

SPEAKER_02 31:34

Right.

SPEAKER_01 31:35

So things like that, getting into a lot more discipline with that kind of life. I wish I had done that earlier on. Maybe, you know, when you know that you're going to come here, maybe start doing some of those chores yourself. So you are a little bit more prepared when you come here. It is not such a big shock to you when you have to do every single thing by hand by yourself. So those kind of things, definitely, I think. Or also spend a little less money in the initial months because you you get too happy. You are like, oh yes, I really, really love this lamp. I need this right now. And then, you know, now looking back, I was like, okay, that was like really, really bad. You start hoarding stuff, and another thing is you get a lot of free stuff in the US, especially when you're a new student, you get tons of free stuff, you don't really need everything, you don't have to go and get everything.

SPEAKER_00 32:30

And if I take you back to those specific six months, right? If I ask you one memory which was like the worst day of your six months, and one you can still remember the best day, something which you still remember, wow, something of that sort happened. Can you recall anything of that sort?

SPEAKER_01 32:54

Um, I think one thing, so I came to US on the 4th of August. My birthday was on the 19th. That was the first time it really hit me, like how lonely I felt over there. You know, it was just all new people. And because I talked about spending, I had I had brought $2,000 with me and keeping the rent for next month, I had literally spent every money, all everything I had. You know, I mean, some, yeah, you have to pay like deposit for the apartment, deposit for the phone, and things like that. But other than that, I bought a lot of stupid things which I shouldn't have. And I had no money left, and I didn't realize that it gets cold at night, and the small blanket I had gotten from home was not doing it. And all my friends, they were, you know, mostly everybody was in the similar boat. And I that was the day I was feeling so sad, just thinking about, you know, how big birthdays are in India and how special your parents make you feel, right? From the moment you wake up and here, you know, you barely you can make a few phone calls, and that's pretty much it. So my friends all chipped in together, uh, you know, and they bought me a blanket.

SPEAKER_02 34:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 34:06

So that was like it was a small gesture, but looking back at that now, it was it was a huge gesture at that time because it was so thoughtful, you know. It was not cheap, so they all chipped in little money, all of them. And they bought me this thing and they bought me a cake. One of uh one of the seniors, they had just gotten a new TV, so they just got gave me their old TV. And it was, I think that was like one day where you felt like you know, your friends can be your family too. So I think that was a really, really nice day.

SPEAKER_00 34:41

Wow. Okay, and in the end, if I ask you, what will your suggestions be? Because life has changed a lot by the time you came here, and now thanks to technology, all the developments, etc. But still, what because lonely feeling will always be there, even the technology is there or not, right? And there will be certain problems which are bound to come. So, what will be your suggestions to the newcomers?

SPEAKER_01 35:14

Definitely have your goal very clear in your head that what you are coming here for. A lot of people just see this as an opportunity to get away from you know the restrictions you have in India. It's like a freedom thing for you. I have seen people come here and get lost in the parties and you know, the drinking and all of that, and it's very easy to lose focus. But you have to be very strong in that matter that what am I coming here to do? What am I trying to study? What is my end goal after this? I have a full life ahead of me. This is not just you know, this four or five years of college, which I have to spend, I have to spend a whole life ahead of me. So I think that is very important that you have a very strong goal in your head. You enjoy your life, but do not deviate from that goal. Do not let you know the fun have the best of you. I think that is really important. Like you have to have that sense of I need to accomplish something. Just coming to the US or come going to some other foreign country is just not enough. It's easy. Anybody can come, but you have to come here, you have to study, you have to accomplish something, you have to create your life for yourself. And I think that is really important, very, very important to have in your head. Have a very strong head in that map, in that way, that you don't deviate from your thing.

SPEAKER_00 36:50

Right. And anything that you would like to add yourself if I've not asked, but you still want to, you know, say it.

SPEAKER_01 37:00

Uh it's life is not easy, it's not all, you know, bells and whistles as as it seems out to be. Um life is difficult, but it's all so nice. There are a lot of books and I have lived after living here, I have lived in Bangalore for two years. I have worked over there, and then I came back. And it is like there are two types of people. Either you you have to choose a life. If you always in that like two boats trying to live both the places, you'll always you'll never be settled anywhere. So you have to choose a life for yourself. Life in here, life here is different from life in India, and you have to choose that for yourself, and you have to have that clear communication with your parents also, so they also know that you know what your thing is. Because everybody thinks that I'm gonna go to US, study, and then come back and you know, do this. But I don't know how many what percentage it is, but I would think it is a very, very low percentage of people who actually go back after that.

SPEAKER_02 38:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 38:12

So I think that is something uh parents should have clear, uh they should know what you should what your goals in life are, and then you should also have some plan if you are like an only child, that in that sense, like what is your plans for them also. So I think choosing your responsibilities very clearly is very important.

SPEAKER_00 38:33

Yeah, because in India, like parents feel responsible about the kids, and when it's an only child, be a son or a daughter, right? Kids also feel that responsibility towards their old parents, right? So there has to be a nice balance so that nobody suffers, right?

SPEAKER_01 38:54

Yeah. If you give them hope that you know you're coming back after four years and then you don't come back, it breaks their heart a little bit. So I think that kind of clear communication with your parents is important, where they are also on board with your plan that they know that there is a high chance that you're not going to come back, you're going to make a life for yourself over there. So I think that is very important because no matter where you come from, even if you are from a very rich family, it's your parents.

SPEAKER_02 39:25

Right.

SPEAKER_01 39:25

And without their support, you cannot be where you are. So, you know, even if money is not a problem, there's still relationships you need to maintain.

SPEAKER_00 39:35

So planning needs to be done sitting together, right? It uh it shouldn't come as a shock to anybody.

SPEAKER_01 39:42

Right.

SPEAKER_00 39:43

Right. So yeah, yeah, great. So, but despite that, if we want to conclude it, we can still say that despite the ups and downs you felt here, it was still it is, in fact, a very valuable and enriching experience, right?

SPEAKER_01 39:59

Oh, definitely. You learned so much. I I honestly think I wouldn't have learned so many things if I was like I studied in India, I grew up. Just the just the basic simple thing of when you meet people from so many different countries, it humbles you. It humbles you, like you see where everybody has come from. You know, there are so many things. When you in when you are in India, you think speaking in English, you know, proper English is the goal.

SPEAKER_02 40:27

Right.

SPEAKER_01 40:27

And you know, the better English you speak, the more cooler you are. And then you come here and you see and you see that people are not ashamed. English is my second language, and you know, I'll make mistakes. That's fine. Most Americans you meet only speak English, and you use in Indians mostly at least speak three languages, right? Everybody almost speaks their regional language, one more language.

SPEAKER_02 40:53

Right.

SPEAKER_01 40:53

You know, so you are a multilinguistic person, you should be proud of that fact. It is not a problem if you cannot say a proper grammatically correct English sentence. Because there are people from so many other countries who don't even like China, they don't, English is not their first language in school, right? They study everything in Chinese, but they still come here and they make a life for themselves. So it it humbles you down a lot. You see things what really matter and what is not that important anymore.

SPEAKER_00 41:23

So uh you really gave us good insights. Thank you, Pija. It was really lovely talking to you, and I'm sure that to our viewers, to our listeners, and to all those students who aspire to go to different countries, right? And they will get good value by whatever you know suggestions you have given.

SPEAKER_01 41:50

Yeah, so yes, definitely.

SPEAKER_00 41:52

Yeah, thank you. Thank you, Puja.

SPEAKER_01 41:55

No problem, thank you, thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00 41:57

And I hope you find this podcast useful. If yes, please subscribe to this podcast on Apple, Spotify, and Google Podcast to get notified. All my podcasts are around 10 to 15 minutes, so they're short and critical. You can also subscribe to my YouTube channel, BrainyX Education. I would request all of you to please like, comment, and give feedback. This also helps alert and get to prepare content that is most required by view. And if you have any queries, you can also hear me on my join my community.