Hello friends. All these years we have been dealing with suicides by students. Many educational institutions, including the CBSC, professionals from various fields, be it psychologists, career counselors, etc., are trying to help students against taking such a wrongful step. Some even blame the Indian education system for this. And as if all this wasn't enough, I came across a piece of news that a mother of a child studying in middle school poisoned her child's classmate as her child always came second in the class. Isn't it shocking? Why do we need to do this? What is this mindset that one can go to any extent just to see one's own child as a topper? Where is our world heading to? Isn't it time to wake up and introspect? Understand, a child is not just a mark sheet. Through this podcast, I want you to ponder over your relationship with your kids. I shall give you 10 points to think over that can redefine your relationship. So hello all, I am Kapil Gupta, founder of Study Abroad Academy. I am on a mission to coach and mentor 100,000 high school students and help them realize their dream of studying in the best universities of the world and build happy careers for themselves. Today I'm trying to convince you to re-look at your relationship within the family. Yes, relationship of parents and kids. I believe all of you will focus on what I have to say, and that would definitely make sense to you. So let's get started. Point one, comparison. We believe that this has been the norm since ages. Unknowingly, parents compare kids to our neighbors' kids, to the relatives, or anybody else in the society. It has been said since long that this comparison actually fills a child with negativity. But unknowingly, parents tend to do that. Then second, that is killing curiosity. When a child begins to speak and he tends to ask a lot many questions, and sometimes the parents are not in a position to resolve all his queries. And when he goes to school, he comes up with similar queries from the teacher. And many a times the teacher makes him sit quietly and accuses him of disturbing the class. And when this thing goes on regularly and his questions gets or remain unanswered, he actually loses that sense of curiosity. And he becomes a memorizer. His noble quality dies its own death. And he just assumes that such a behavior of asking questions is not an acceptable norm in the society. Then third point is focusing on society. Many a times we have heard in our homes that we should do whatever our society allows us to do. Sometimes society even tends to pressure the people, pressure the younger generation to do what they don't want to do. It's not every time that a child or a teenager can be wrong. A person can always have a different thinking. But our parents don't let us venture into that new horizons. Once again, that suppresses our creativity, our ingenuity. Then the fourth point. Parents sometimes try to make us look at the world through their own experiences. If their experiences are bad, they assume that their kids will also have the same experiences. And obviously, that once again kills a new way of learning. Because we are stopping the child from learning his own experiences. So he does not have an experience at all. Then there is an emotional blackmail. That if you don't do this, you are on your own. You will not take care about us. So that is creating undue pressure on the child. It's like an emotional blackmail, and mothers are known for doing it. Then dismissing mental health. In our country, people don't talk about it. I have heard my psychologist friends worried over this. And nowadays, like the depression, it's getting common. Committing suicide is like a huge reason for this because their mental problems are not being addressed. They are not able to talk to people. And everybody believes that if anybody is undergoing some mental stress and talking about this means that we have to send him to a mental asylum. And that is so wrong. We are not addressing the real issue. And that is actually causing disharmony, not in the society just, but also in the family. Then there is no discussion about money because parents do it. So kids actually don't know how to save, how to invest, how to make best use of money because they are treated as novices that they don't have that mental caliber to understand. And the truth is that many a times even parents are not aware how to use money in the best possible way. How to make money earn for them. So that learning is never there. And when those kids grow up, they face the same dilemma that how to make best use of their earnings. Then they have these unreasonable expectations. Let's say if anybody in a school like in let's say in class 11th, a child takes up science, everybody is expected to join IITs. There's a mad rush of joining institutes who are charging lakhs and lakhs of rupees. We have seen that quota has become the hub. And there also when students are there living there for those studies and they are committing suicides there. Why? Why do you need to send a child? And why do you think that a person has taken up science, he should only join IIT? Is engineering the only course option? But then I believe parents don't discuss it. Then imposing relationships, yes. There are certain relationships which the child is not comfortable with, but then the parents might say that oh, in our society that is not the way. You should accept that and then not making us accountable. That failure is a dreadful word. So that means either the child let's say if a child didn't score well in school, so that means he did not study. People don't go into the real reasons behind it. So at the end I would say that some might feel this podcast is one against parents, but actually it is not. Because every previous generation has less options than the current one, and they always have a tougher life than the current one. Parents always try to do the best with their limited means they have. And some things might have worked for them, but may not work in the current scenario. So they also have to evolve accordingly. I would say when kids grow up, they might feel that their parents were unjust to them or their parents were faulty, but they must realize that even if there was a mistake, it was an honest one. Their intentions weren't wrong. They always wanted best for the kids and tried to protect the kids from failures or hardships based on their experiences. And the need of the R is actually to accept the past and present. Many a times kids understand the viewpoint of their parents only after stepping into the same shoes as parents. And parents must adopt to challenges taking place in the world and understand that the challenges of the current generations are different from theirs. So the solution will also be different. So parents and students together must understand that failure in a class or any venture is not the end of life. Failures also make us wiser. There is a positivity attached to failures too. So let's accept that and realign our actions and create a better tomorrow. This can only happen when they are together. Understand each other, and the world gets a happy family. I hope you find this podcast useful. If yes, please subscribe to this podcast on Apple, Spotify, and Google Podcasts to get notified. All my podcasts are around 10 to 15 minutes, so they are short and crisp. Please share a five-star review. And if you're part of my community, please share a learnings below. If you wish to reach out to me, I'm Kapil Gupta, your study abroad expert, and join my career advisor hub on Facebook and Instagram channel. Until the next episode, cheers, God bless, keep inspiring.